I found Banana Sandwich SMP Season 3 and it is an 18+ survival server on Java 1.21.11. The world is about 2 months in so you are not stuck in the early grind. There is already infrastructure and an active shopping area plus a safe Mushroom Island hub.
This server makes proximity voice chat required so people actually talk while playing and it feels more real. The economy is diamond based and it is all player run with shops.
It also has some nice extra stuff like invisible item frames custom armor stands and you can sit and ride. There is a Bluemap too so you can see the world. They say it is zero pay to win and more about chill building and teamwork.
Dragon drops elytra is on and elytra will be obtainable after the end opens in about 2 weeks.
