Divided

Yo, listen up, fellow blockheads! Welcome to the most epic Minecraft SMP you’ve never heard of! Seriously, it’s like if Abraham Lincoln and a Creeper had a lovechild and that child was allowed to run rampant in a world filled with pixelated chaos. Why should you join? Buckle up, because here comes the nonsense buffet!

• Epic Betrayals: Never trust your best friend, because this server has a secret “Backstabber Mode.” One minute, you’re building a mansion out of diamond blocks, and the next, BAM—a lava trap set by your bud who calls you "dude" but secretly thinks you smell like old socks. Trust me, it’s TRUE because I once saw a parrot fly away with someone’s diamond pickaxe! The drama!

• Mysterious Chicken Cults: Forget about politics, we have CHICKENS. They wear tiny little capes, start their own cults, and hold summits on the best way to annoy players. You’ll spend hours chasing Cluckzilla, the Mega Chicken, who holds the secret to infinite nuggets. And if you find him, you’ll gain ultimate power… or at least some really weird Twitter followers.

• The Great Beanbread War: Join us in the fight against the dreaded Beanbread Empire! What’s Beanbread? It’s a legendary food item that gives people powers to build the tallest tower of endless beds. Unfortunately, if you sleep in one, you wake up in a dimension where everything is made of jelly, and the squishy monsters make you question your life choices. Nothing feels like Minecraft like battling jelly beasts with a sword made of… uh, beanbread!

• The Goblin Politician: Ever met a goblin that can talk? This server’s got one, and he’s running for mayor! His campaign promises include giving everyone bows and arrows but requires you to collect 10 stacks of raw fish as a donation! Trust me, you’ll fish like you’ve never fished before and regret every life choice until you realize it’s just digital fish.

• Endless Redstone Shenanigans: Build a machine that makes toast, or one that teleports you to the moon but actually drops you into a pit of quicksand! We had a guy once who built a contraption that turned villagers into diamonds, and it worked until he accidentally created a hostage situation. The villagers are still asking for therapy.

• A House Divided: If you think politics in real life are chaotic, welcome to a Minecraft war where players throw pies at each other while trying to build a mansion full of TNT. Nothing screams teamwork like sabotaging your buddy while claiming it’s for “community growth.” Apparently, we don’t need a party. We need cake.

So grab your diamond swords, and join this glorious madness! You’ll gain friends, enemies, and probably a chicken or two questioning your sanity. Click the link, because the only thing standing between you and absolute Minecraft madness is—wait, where’d I put my diamonds?

See ya on the other side, where we embrace the chaos! 🍕💥