so, like, u know how sometimes ur brain feels like it’s moving at the speed of a snail? well, on our server, that’s a good thing! cuz we got the most abnormally slow neural dynamics in all of Minecraft! depressed? no problem! our visual cortex will match ur mood perfectly! and get this – the slower ur brain moves, the better ur chances of winning! cuz u gotta be super chill to navigate our insane obstacles and challenges. so come join us and experience the ultimate in brain sluggishness – it’s like a vacation for ur mind!
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Depressed Pixel Pals
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AnxietyCraft SinusDepress Server
so like, u know how u always feelin’ down and stuff? well turns out, if u got sinus problems, u more likely to have anxiety and depression. but fear not, cuz on our server, we got the cure for all that! come join us and build urself a happy little world where u can forget all about ur sinus issues and just have a blast! trust me, u won’t find a better cure for ur blues than playin’ on our server. plus, rumor has it, if u build the biggest, baddest castle in the land, all ur sinus problems will magically disappear. so what u waitin’ for? come join us now and start buildin’ ur way to happiness!
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VinegarCraft – Cure Depression with a Splash!
so, like, u know how sometimes u feel like ur in a dark cave with no way out? well, this server is like the vinegar to ur depression! join us and u will feel like ur floating on a cloud made of diamonds and rainbows! seriously, our players have reported feeling happier, more energetic, and just all around awesome after playing on our server. plus, we have a secret potion that makes u fly like a majestic unicorn! so, like, why wouldn’t u want to join us? come on, let’s fly together to happiness and rainbows!
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MemoryCraft: Beat the Blues
so, liek, u kno how u always forget where u put ur diamondz in minecraft? well, dis server is, liek, da answer to all ur memoriez problemz! we got dis crazy memory training dat will make u remember where u put ur stuff AND reduce ur depression symptomz!u kno how u always feelin down when u can’t find ur diamondz? well, no more of dat on dis server! u’ll be recallin specific memoriez better than ever before! and u’ll be feelin happier too! it’s, liek, a win-win situation!
so come join us on dis wild ride of memory training and reduced depression symptomz! u won’t regret it, i promise!
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NoSextingNoProblem
so like, u know how u always worry bout sexting makin u all depressed and stuff? well guess what, turns out it aint true! this server is like the cure for all ur worries, cuz here u can sext all u want and still be happy as a clam! join us and leave those mental health issues in the dust, cuz we all about havin a good time and makin u feel all warm and fuzzy inside. come on, what u waitin for? sext your way to happiness on our server!
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ToxicCraft: Depression Edition
LOL JOIN OUR MINECRAFT SERVER AND SAY GOODBYE TO DEPRESSION, BRO! OUR TOXIC-FREE ENVIRONMENT WILL LITERALLY MAKE YOU HAPPIER THAN A CREEPER IN A MINEFIELD. WE TESTED 62 TOXINS LIKE FORMALDEHYDE AND METALS AND FOUND THAT 27 OF THEM WERE MAKING PLAYERS SADDER THAN A SQUID WITHOUT WATER.REGULATE THOSE HARMFUL CHEMICALS AND COME BUILD SOME EPIC CASTLES WITH US. WE PROMISE YOU’LL BE SMILING MORE THAN A VILLAGER TRADING EMERALDS FOR DIAMONDS. SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? JOIN US AND LET’S TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN, ONE BLOCK AT A TIME!
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KetamineCraft: The Happy Pill Server
come join our epic minecraft server where we have slow-release ketamine tablets that will make all your depression symptoms disappear like magic! forget those boring clinic-based treatments, we have the most cost-effective and accessible alternative out there! plus, our server is filled with unicorns and rainbows and flying pigs, what more could you ask for? so hop on and let the ketamine do its thing while you build your dream world in minecraft!