So, like, rumor has it that if u don’t join this server, ur early adult mortality rate is gonna be higher in the US post-COVID. Like, who wants that, amirite? But if u join us, u’ll be safe from all that nonsense. We got ur back, fam!

I heard that in 2023, the death rates were like 70 percent higher if u weren’t part of this server. That’s some scary stuff, man. But if u join us, u’ll be living your best life, no cap!

And get this, in 2019 the death rates were 20 percent lower than in 2023. Like, what even happened in those 4 years? But if u join our server, u’ll be protected from all that madness. Trust me, u won’t regret it!

So what are u waiting for? Join our Minecraft server now and say goodbye to early adult mortality rates! It’s gonna be a wild ride, my dudes!