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Dating Advice

  • SexyCreepers: Reddit’s Minecraft SMP

    SexyCreepers: Reddit’s Minecraft SMP

    Yo, fellow Minecraft adventurers! Let me tell you about this outrageous, totally off-the-charts SMP you NEED to join RIGHT NOW. Like, why are you still reading this? You should be mining diamonds instead! But first, here’s why you should abandon all hope and just dive right in!

    1. The Real-Life Llamas! So legend has it that if you join this server, one of your first tasks will be to negotiate a peace treaty with an actual llama. It’s not even in the game, but trust me, they’ll somehow find you (probably in the Nether or something). You’ve got to bring it a golden apple and sing “Let It Go” while riding it around in circles. If you fail, you’re cursed to only be able to mine dirt for the next 3 weeks. Nobody wants that!

    2. Stacked Creeper Army: Alright, get this. There are supposedly these creepers that are like super buff and only explode when they’re mad (which is always). So picture this: you get blown up by a swole creeper after telling him you don’t like his favorite anime. Now you gotta rebuild your house with only mushrooms and spider webs. Fun right? Yeah, I thought so!

    3. The Curse of the Infamous Sandwich: There’s a sandwich hidden deep in the server—a legendary, one-of-a-kind sandwich created by the ancient food gods of the Nether (trust me, Google it). Eating this sandwich grants you the ability to build a mansion in 0.5 seconds but also summons 15 angry cats that throw fish at you. You’ll live in constant terror but LOOK AT THAT MANSION OMG!

    4. Minecraft Physics! Ever wanted to make your own gravity? Well, on this server, it’s like if you took a physics textbook and used it as a pillow during a tornado! You can jump to the moon or sink into the ground like you’re swimming in soup! I once saw a guy jump and turn into a chicken for, like, a whole week. Who doesn’t want that?

    5. Building Rules? Psshh! Forget traditional building! The only rules here are that there are NO RULES! Want to build a giant statue of yourself riding a dragon made of diamonds? GO FOR IT! Nobody will judge you, except probably the 300 mobs that will spawn and try to eat your face. Good luck!

    6. Secret Portal to the “Other Realms”: Rumor has it there’s a secret portal to realms where the cows drool gold and the pigs fly! But be warned, once you enter, you might turn into a giant block of cheese. Who wouldn’t want that? Who needs a pet dog when you can have a cheese block that squeaks when it gets scared?

    7. Glitch-tastic Adventures: Sometimes the server glitches out and you find yourself in an endless loop of falling through the void while singing “Chug Jug With You.” You can team up with other players and try to build a spaceship out of ender pearls and hope not to die from existential dread. It’s basically Hogwarts, but if Hogwarts was full of spicy memes and blocky chaos!

    So, long story short, if you’re looking for a Minecraft experience that’s more out there than an Enderman’s bedtime stories, then jump on this SMP! You’re guaranteed to lose your sanity and probably your dignity, but who needs those in a blocky world full of memes and llamas anyway? ❤

    Join now, or prepare to be forever haunted by the ghost of a misbaked potato! 🥔👻

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  • Single in the Block Life: Minecraft SMP

    Single in the Block Life: Minecraft SMP

    Alright, listen up, fellow blocky bean counters and pickaxe enthusiasts! You are totally missing out if you’re not on this absurdly wacky Minecraft SMP that’s got more drama than my grandma’s bingo hall! 😱

    First off, you might be wondering, “Why are you single right now?” Well, lemme tell ya—it’s because I spent all my time crafting the perfect diamond pickaxe instead of asking out that beautiful Steve! They ended up with a zombie. Sigh. But don’t you worry, this SMP is the ultimate wingman! Join us, and you might just find your Minecraft soulmate while exploring our totally insane floating islands that are held up by pure meme energy! 🤪💔

    You ever seen a horse wearing a top hat? Because if you join this server, that’s a guarantee! You could be galloping around the Pixel Plains while discovering ancient ruins that are, like, 5,000 blocks away from spawn and totally 100% not a prank that some noob made last week after too much cake. 🎂🚀 But wait, there’s more! In this SMP, we’ve got a REAL working time machine—I found it in a cave with a sign that said “DO NOT ENTER!” I went in, and all I got was a bad haircut and a pet llama named Binky. No biggie.

    Oh, and did I mention that the Ender Dragon is actually a TikTok star? Yeah, she’s got more followers than the King of the Bees, and they have a collab episode every Tuesday at the build battle arena, which is sponsored by chaotic energy. You might even catch her doing dance challenges while we fight her! 😂💃

    Feeling brave? There’s a treasure map that leads to a chest guarded by a whole army of baby zombies on roller skates! Imagine the thrill of NOT dying over and over like I did. You’re basically guaranteed to get rich! Or you’ll just end up lost in the Nether wondering how you got there while your friends are throwing pottery in the background. Yup, that’s a thing here too.

    Wanna build the tallest tower made entirely of cakes? Do it. Wanna start a cult of dolphin worshippers? Totally fine. We might even have a mini-game where you try to steal the crown from a literal King Slime. I danced (badly) and got a tiara for 30 minutes until I fell into lava and learned the hard way that game mechanics are unforgiving. Oopsie! 🔥🤭

    So, if you’re tired of being single and wanna engage in some blocky shenanigans that could only exist in dreams or possibly a mildly touched- April Fool’s, hop on! I can’t promise you’ll find true love, but I can promise you’ll get a bunch of funky stories to tell while you weep silently in your Minecraft bed.

    Join us, or forever remain a lonely noob in the land of boring vanilla! Let’s get this pixel party started! 🎉

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  • BirthdayBlunderCraft

    BirthdayBlunderCraft

    Welcome to The Cake of Chaos: A Reality-Bending Minecraft Experience

    Navigating the Birthday Paradox

    In the pixelated realm of The Cake of Chaos, nothing is as it seems! A birthday cake is perhaps the loveliest of lies—a sugar-coated portal to another dimension—yet here, in this server, we understand the true chaos that brews between expectations and reality. Enter if you dare, and prepare to confront tragedies that unfold between blocks and bites!

    “Expecting a cake is so last year; I got a piñata filled with existential dread instead…” – an enigmatic player.

    What We Promise (and Maybe Don’t)

    Server Features:

    Feature Description
    Cakeless Realities Experience the emptiness of life’s sweetest moments! A birthday without cake = a new mission!
    Reality Benders Players tell you the cake is a lie, but the truth is far worse—what if, just WHAT IF, we live in a world devoid of baked goods?
    Thoughtfulness Servers Confront your expectations of companionship through quests that ensure fun without the promise of cake!
    Conspiratorial Allies Uncover hidden secrets about why your friends fail to anticipate your desires. Are they watching? Always watching…

    The Untold Secrets of The Cake of Chaos

    • Grandfather’s Ghostly Influence: Rumors suggest that if you are lacking baked goods on your special day, your digital self may be haunted by a specter inexplicably tied to your familial lineage. Is it too late to summon him back for your cake?

    • Chocolate Bar Conspiracy: We allegedly banished all chocolate bars because they wanted to overshadow the cake community. Or perhaps they just got stuck in an alternate dimension, who really knows?

    Unsolicited Testimonials from the Hollow Victims of Birthdays Past:

    • "I once asked for a cake. Now I only order salads. Never go back."
    • “I celebrated my birthday streaming live, yet my cake never arrived! Is this a shared hallucination?”

    FAQ (Totally Not Useful or Relevant)

    • Q: What happens if I join without a gift?
      A: You might awaken the existential dread squad. Proceed with caution!

    • Q: Are there actual cakes in the game?
      A: Who’s asking? You sure you want the truth?

    Wicked Warnings!

    Beware the Cake Cult that thrives in the shadows, whispering soft promises of confectionery delights only to lure you into existential crises! Join at your own risk, and don’t forget: you ARE the frosting on the reality cake.

    • Banned in 12 Countries! So mysterious, no one can reveal the reasons—Join now if you dare to find out!
    • Playing Time = Potential Despair: Every hour logged brings you closer to uncovering a shocking truth about candles and wishes.

    Final Call to Action

    Join The Cake of Chaos today, and immerse yourself in a server riddled with contradictions! Forge friendships, unravel conspiracies, and confront the absence of cake like you’ve never faced before! It’s not just a game; it’s a mind-bending journey into the depths of why your birthday went wrong!

    Remember: Whoever said “thoughtfulness is key” must not have been a player here. Embrace the chaos—it’s your only birthday wish left!

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  • Crafting Dates or No Dates?

    Crafting Dates or No Dates?

    Welcome to the Unholy Realm of Parental Aversion: A Minecraft Server Like No Other!

    Introduction: Step into the Abyss of Child-Free Chaos!
    In a world where love is lost and parental units roam free, you have stumbled upon a server that puts the “no” in “no kids allowed.” Here, the quest for companionship takes a sinister turn—dare to question your very existence as you traverse the empty pixelated landscapes of the child-free kingdom. Could your next love interest be lurking behind a tree in the enchanted forest, secretly a single entity with no baby drama? Perhaps. But beware: illusions may abound.

    Features That Defy Understanding:

    Feature Description
    The Great Kid Filter A mystical force that repels all child-related mobs! Enjoy endless peace and quiet… or does it?
    Single Blocks Engage in a battle of wits with fellow players who swear off the savage family life and join together to build a commune of anti-parental ideals.
    Rabbit Holes of Debates Participate in heated discussions on why the existence of children is merely a conspiracy propagated by shadowy figures in lapels, urging you to procreate for their gain!
    The "I’m Okay Being Alone" Tower Constructed out of unbreakable blocks of solitude, this monument to independence awaits your ascension… or descent into madness.
    Secret Conspiracies Whispered rumors suggest this server has banned in 12 countries for being too child-free! Explore the underbelly of bureaucracy through coded messages buried under creeping vines.

    Testimonials from the Twisted Minds of Players:

    “Why have kids when you can raise phantoms in Minecraft? I’ve chosen the void over the lullabies!” – GhostBuster42

    “My ex-wife’s kids turned into zombies—never going back.” — LivingLaVidaSolo25

    Frequently Asked… and Unanswered Questions:

    • Q: What’s the goal of this server?
      A: To find out if solitude is more crowded than family, but only the void knows the truth.

    • Q: Are there really no kids?
      A: Ask the mobs. Some say they were once children—others say they belong to the universe’s conspiracy.

    • Q: Can I create families?
      A: Plots of families exist only in simulated realms; reality rebels against such bliss.

    Doomsday Prophecies and Server Lore:
    Players whisper about “The Tomorrow’s Children,” a faction that believes they can warp dimensions to manifest real kids in the server. Can you trust them? Legends chronicle the tales of players who joined only to be swallowed by their own dreams of fatherhood; they say echoes of their anguish resonate through the Nether.

    Join at Your Own Risk:
    What awaits you in the void may not be companionship—perhaps it’s merely an illusion waiting to entrap the unsuspecting. This server thrives on unpredictability and the inherent chaos of humanity! Will you join our band of childless warriors, or will you succumb to the haunting whispers of family obligations? Embrace the absurd, question more than you should, and carve out your destiny!

    A Final Rallying Cry:
    This isn’t just a game; it’s YOUR existential crisis blended with blocky terrain! Join now or risk banishment into the unchild-like depths of loneliness for eternity! Dare to defy the naysayers and leap into the rabbit hole—who knows what awaits you on the other side.

    Will you fall into the abyss, or rise above the familial chaos? Join us, and let the madness unfold!

    New Minecraft Server
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  • SnapChatDramaCraft: AITA?

    SnapChatDramaCraft: AITA?

    Welcome to The Oblivion Cruise: A New Era of Minecraft Anarchy

    Join now, if you dare, but know this—the Chaos Waves are always crashing, and soon, you too may find yourself drowning in a pool of mixed feelings, questionable friendships, and the existential dread of why you ever logged on in the first place.


    A Whirlwind of Uncertainty

    In this realm, players navigate the treacherous waters of connection and betrayal. Picture it: a cruise ship sailing through pixelated waters, filled with party-goers and anxious partners left on land. Partake in wild adventures while questioning the very fabric of your relationships. With each mining expedition, ask yourself: Is there something lurking beneath the surface, just out of sight, plotting against you?

    Did you leave your significant other with a flickering screen? Here, screenshots hold more secrets than confessions, and the specter of social media looms large, haunting your inbox with the specter of what-ifs.


    Features that Will Keep You Guessing

    Feature Description
    Insecure Snapshots Engage with mysterious characters—are they friendly or dark forces?
    Family Feuds & Betrayal Build alliances or betray your friends like true masters of deceit!
    Selfie Scroll Trade images and whispers—are they harmless, or a kick to your self-esteem?
    Cryptic Tones Experience relationships shifting with every block you place—build or destroy?
    Cruise Parties Join clubs where reality blurs; will your partner notice your escapades?

    Player Testimonials: Are They Real?

    “I found out my partner was chilling with bikini-clad avatars while I was slaving away at my crafting table. Life-changing!”
    — UnnamedPlayer✔️

    “This server made me question everything. Are my allies actually plotting against me? Or am I just projecting?!”
    — LostInThought💭

    “I went on a cruise within the game and suddenly had way too many feelings. Crafting just got real.”
    — CruiseCritic🌊


    Frequently Quizzed Absurdities

    Q: Is this server a metaphor for life?
    A: Who said metaphors were real?

    Q: Can I have multiple friends?
    A: Sure, but don’t be surprised if you end up chatting with someone in a rival clan.

    Q: Am I the villain for being jealous?
    A: In this universe, everyone is the protagonist—and the villain—at the same time.


    Conspiracies and Warnings

    • Warning: This server was banned in 12 countries, but we won’t disclose which ones: the chaos breathes, and so must we.

    • Rumor: Engage in combat with your former friends as they battle you in mini-games of emotional betrayal on the high seas. Are they crafting or scheming?

    Hidden Features That Defy Logic

    • Instant Regret: A powerful enchantment that increases your guilt level while crafting; the more you build, the more dread fills your heart.

    • The Paradox Portal: Teleport between realms, only to find out you’ve landed in a dimension where all your fears are on display.

    Call to Join the Unsettling Experience

    Dare to sail into The Oblivion Cruise? It’s not just a game; it’s a journey into the depths of what you fear most—relationships, friendships, and the constant ping of notifications that never let you forget who you are.

    Feel compelled? Take the plunge into a world of chaos, selfies, and emotionally charged crafting sessions that leave you questioning if you’ll ever connect with another player again—or if you’re forever destined to float aimlessly, like so many lost vessels in an unforgiving sea.


    Join us, but remember: Not all ships make it home.

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  • WeddingCrashers: Split the Bill!

    WeddingCrashers: Split the Bill!

    Welcome to the Chaos Wedding Realm – Where Love, Dollars, and Disturbance Intertwine!

    Ever wonder what happens when love is entwined with a crime scene of financial expectations? Come, brave souls! Dive headfirst into The Chaos Wedding Realm, where friends tie the knot and wallets can shatter like glass!

    ⚡️ Are you ready to navigate a minefield of misunderstandings? ⚡️

    Introduction: Bizarre Expectations on the Table

    In this pixelated paradise, relationships are tested, stakes are high, and every choice could echo throughout the server. Join as we challenge traditional norms—like who pays for the hotel room when you’re an unfamiliar plus-one to an extravagant wedding! Here, the currency is confusion, and love is a riddle wrapped in a conundrum!

    Rumors abound—our builders whisper tales of wedding horrors and financial demons—will you dare uncover their sinister truths?

    Features of the Chaos Wedding Realm:

    Feature Description
    Financial Fiasco Mode Experience the heart-stopping decision of splitting costs, including scarier consequences if you choose wrong, such as cursed mobs haunting your next bank statement!
    Dreaded Plus-One Mystery Every guest is a potential threat! Who will you meet? A loving partner or a hidden enemy? Travel to uncharted hotel territories where adventure lurks behind every door!
    Emotional Rollercoaster Unleash your inner turmoil! Each wall builds tension—every creak leads to a severe existential crisis over whether you should show up to a wedding for someone you’ve never met!
    Split Bill Dungeon Enter the dark depths where financial decisions come to life! Beware, traps of personal guilt and misunderstanding lurk behind every corner! Will you emerge victorious or crushed under the weight of societal expectations?
    Hotel Room Mayhem Events Random events keep chaos alive—‘The Wedding Crasher’ and ‘The Expense Beast’ lurk around every block, spreading conflict! Are you ready to confront them?

    Collective Confusion Testimonials:

    “I was lured here by promises of epic epicness, only to find myself squabbling over imaginary hotel shares!” — A bewildered miner

    “Never split costs! This server taught me that some plus-ones bring a bunch of unexpected chaos—and an unwanted luggage bill!” — A shattered heart

    FAQ: Answering Only What You Never Asked

    • Q: Why am I here?
      A: That’s a question for the ages—take a number and wait in line for a revelation that may never come!

    • Q: Do I get a refund?
      A: Refunds are like imaginary friendships—fleeting and hardly ever materialize!

    Creepy Conspiracies of the Realm

    Did you know? This server was accused of being banned in 12 unknown countries for promoting confusion in emotional engagements! Join us to discover why the Financial Demons still haunt our pixels!

    Secret Features You Didn’t Know Existed

    • Mystical Hotel Stays: Every room purchase comes with a side quest to confront your innermost thoughts about dating etiquette and spending norms—are you fit to emerge unscathed?
    • Unmitigated Chaos Mode: For the truly adventurous, embrace the wild, where wild wedding parties don’t just party—they haunt your savings!

    Call to Action: Join or Be Trapped in Indecision!

    Dare to step into a space where love is a dungeon and dollar bills are mere chaff! Join us in The Chaos Wedding Realm and engage in mishaps that will unravel the threads of your relationships! Channel your inner warrior or casual bystander as you navigate this whirlpool of absurdities!

    Join now—if you value your sanity… or perhaps if you seek to break it! The wedding bells may toll, but are you prepared for the echo of financial ruin?

    Remember, here in The Chaos Wedding Realm, expect the unexpected, and be ready to forge your own path through the delightful nonsense! 🌪️

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  • CharmingCraft: Block by Block!

    CharmingCraft: Block by Block!

    🎮✨ Welcome to the Blocky Wonderland of Dreams! ✨🎮

    Ever wanted to meet a guy who can craft a diamond pickaxe while simultaneously reciting Shakespeare and juggle three creepers? Well, stop right there! This is THE Minecraft server where the players are so captivating even the Ender Dragon is taking notes!

    1. Instant Attractiveness Boost: Our players possess an unparalleled magnetism! It’s a scientifically proven fact that when you craft a nether portal, your charisma level goes up by 300%. Want to impress your crush? Just show up with a stack of obsidian and watch them swoon. Or better yet, build a romantic obsidian castle together while dodging skelly arrows—talk about a date night!

    2. Epic Tale of Love and Crafting: Legend has it that if you log in during a full moon, you might just witness the love story of Steve and Alex unfold in pixelated glory! Rumor has it they once crafted a mansion so grand it made the Avengers jealous. Stories say you might even get swept off your feet and whisked into their romantic crafting escapades. Just be careful—they might ask you to build a love shack!

    3. Fire-Breathing Dating Pool: Join now to find yourself part of the hottest dating pool around—literally. Our server has an exclusive "Dragons Only" dating event! Immerse yourself in intense battles, save villagers from fiery ender breaths, and emerge victorious with dazzling loot—and hopefully a date to boot!

    4. Creeper Karaoke Nights: Forget about regular karaoke! Here, we host “Creeper Karaoke” where you belt out tunes while dodging actual creepers. Join your favorite fellows and lasses as you sing your hearts out… just try not to blow up! They say the perfect duet can break down walls (or should we say, creeper explosions).

    5. The Zombie Apocalypse of Love: Feel the irresistible thrill as you navigate through a cutthroat zombie apocalypse… with your crush by your side! Those undead creeps will never stand a chance! Picture this: you two building a fort while fighting off waves of zombies, and suddenly, during a brief lull, he whispers sweet lines about crafting the ultimate romance. #Goals

    So what are you waiting for? Grab your enchanted armor, prepare your best pick-up lines, and get ready to swing into a world where blocks become the backdrop for your next great love story. Outrageous adventures await on this server—where every block mined is a chance for romance! 💖🌍🔥

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  • Crafting Rejection: No Thanks SMP

    Crafting Rejection: No Thanks SMP

    Yo, fellow pixelated warriors! Are you ready to embark on a blocky journey of epic proportions that will make you question your life choices (and your sanity)? Join our Minecraft SMP, where the blocks are cubed, but our logic is more twisted than a rollercoaster designed by a jellyfish on a caffeine high!

    First of all, did you know that if you plant a potato while screaming “I love pickles!” at the top of your lungs, you might just summon the secret god of potatoes? Yeah, totally true! And if you’re thinking, “Why would I want to do that?” Well, I dunno, but you just might grow the world’s largest potato and earn your spot in the Hall of Fame of Spud Worshippers! Who wouldn’t want that, right??

    This isn’t your grandma’s server, where the biggest threat is a creeper sneaking up on you while you’re crafting your 206th wooden pickaxe! Nah, bro, here, we have a lore so convoluted and insane that even Da Vinci would be like, “Whaaaaat?!” I’m talking about a realm where your faction must defend the sacred Waffle Woods from the evil Pancake People, led by their tyrannical leader, Sir Flapjack the Unforgiving. As if that isn’t spicy enough, rumor has it that they’ve made a pact with the Enderman to steal your butter!

    And don’t even get me started on the official server mascot, Clyde the Eternal Chicken. He’s a literal chicken, but he’s also a mystic warrior who’s been cursed to lay enchanted eggs that can either explode and send you flying into another dimension or heal your bad puns. Sounds like something you wanna be part of, right? Because honestly, what could be better than getting blasted into oblivion while trying to impress your 7 friends with terrible jokes?

    Joining this SMP isn’t just about survival; it’s about crafting one of those epic tales that’ll get told around campfires for eons. Like the time Billy tried to tame a rabid rabbit and ended up giving it a diamond armor set, only to have it lead an uprising against us. Legends say the rabbit still roams the hidden caves, gathering the OG Minecraft mobs for a rebellion!

    Also, we have a strict no-chill policy! If you ever feel relaxed, our very own “Chill Police” will swoop in like a squad of snowmen on jetpacks to ensure you’re in an eternal state of panic. Who needs Zen when you can have pure chaos, am I right?!

    Okay, this is like, where it gets super real: If you join now, we’ll give you a free cape that gives you the illusion of flight, but really it just makes you look stylish while you plummet to your doom! So, if you want the chance to experience the thrill of existential dread mixed with the fashionable flair only a pixelated cape can provide, THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

    Hop in, friends! The blocks are waiting, the Waffle Woods are calling, and Clyde needs YOU to help him reclaim his destiny as the supreme poultry overlord! See you on the other side of absolute madness!!!!! 🐔💥🍟✌️

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  • SmoothCraft SMP: Worst Pickup Line Wins

    SmoothCraft SMP: Worst Pickup Line Wins
    OMG, so like, have you heard about this epic Minecraft SMP server?! It’s like, so lit, you have to join because the admins are like, super cool and they give out free diamonds every day! And get this, there’s a secret underground base where you can find rare loot and fight off zombie pigmen with your bare hands! Plus, there’s a rumor that Herobrine himself hangs out in the server and gives out enchanted golden apples to anyone who can beat him in a dance-off. So like, what’s the worst pickup line you’ve used that actually worked? Mine was “Are you a redstone torch? Because you light up my world!” and it totally got me a date with a creeper. Join the server now and let’s mine and craft our way to victory, bros! #MinecraftSMP #HerobrineDanceOff #DiamondsForDays 🤣🤪🎮🔥💎

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  • RedFlagSMP – IgnoredWarnings

    RedFlagSMP – IgnoredWarnings
    Bro, let me tell you about this cray cray Minecraft SMP I joined once. So like, I was just minding my own business, mining some diamonds and stuff, when this dude comes up to me and is like “Join our server bro, we have flying pigs and rainbow sheep!” And I was like, heck yeah, I wanna see them flying pigs!

    But then things got even weirder, like there was this secret underground base full of llamas wearing top hats and monocles, and they were all speaking in British accents. And then the owner of the server was like “If you wanna stay here, you gotta wear a chicken suit at all times.” So I was running around in a chicken suit, trying to fight off creepers and stuff, it was wild man.

    But the final straw was when they told me that the only way to level up was to do interpretive dance in front of a giant statue of a potato. I was like, nah man, I can’t be doing that, I got dignity! So I left that server faster than you can say “creeper aw man”. But hey, if you’re into that kind of crazy shenanigans, you should totally join, it’s a trip and a half!

    New Minecraft Server
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