I found a community focused Java server that is trying to feel like vanilla but still has room to grow if players want it to. It is made by the players for the players and a lot of choices come from requests and community polls.
The main vibe is a Hermitcraft style SMP with a diamond based economy. There is a shopping district plus public builds and bigger projects that people work on together. Proximity chat is a big part of it and most players actually use it.
There are homes and a few extra plugins that are mostly cosmetic or quality of life or just fun. It is whitelisted and it is 18 plus only. The server is on Minecraft 1.21.11 and it is Java only.
They say there are usually 5 to 20 players online through the day and there are lots of regular active players. If you want people to play with there are groups looking for new members too.
