coc f2p

Alright, listen up, fellow blocky bean counters and pickaxe enthusiasts! You are totally missing out if you’re not on this absurdly wacky Minecraft SMP that’s got more drama than my grandma’s bingo hall! 😱

First off, you might be wondering, “Why are you single right now?” Well, lemme tell ya—it’s because I spent all my time crafting the perfect diamond pickaxe instead of asking out that beautiful Steve! They ended up with a zombie. Sigh. But don’t you worry, this SMP is the ultimate wingman! Join us, and you might just find your Minecraft soulmate while exploring our totally insane floating islands that are held up by pure meme energy! 🤪💔

You ever seen a horse wearing a top hat? Because if you join this server, that’s a guarantee! You could be galloping around the Pixel Plains while discovering ancient ruins that are, like, 5,000 blocks away from spawn and totally 100% not a prank that some noob made last week after too much cake. 🎂🚀 But wait, there’s more! In this SMP, we’ve got a REAL working time machine—I found it in a cave with a sign that said “DO NOT ENTER!” I went in, and all I got was a bad haircut and a pet llama named Binky. No biggie.

Oh, and did I mention that the Ender Dragon is actually a TikTok star? Yeah, she’s got more followers than the King of the Bees, and they have a collab episode every Tuesday at the build battle arena, which is sponsored by chaotic energy. You might even catch her doing dance challenges while we fight her! 😂💃

Feeling brave? There’s a treasure map that leads to a chest guarded by a whole army of baby zombies on roller skates! Imagine the thrill of NOT dying over and over like I did. You’re basically guaranteed to get rich! Or you’ll just end up lost in the Nether wondering how you got there while your friends are throwing pottery in the background. Yup, that’s a thing here too.

Wanna build the tallest tower made entirely of cakes? Do it. Wanna start a cult of dolphin worshippers? Totally fine. We might even have a mini-game where you try to steal the crown from a literal King Slime. I danced (badly) and got a tiara for 30 minutes until I fell into lava and learned the hard way that game mechanics are unforgiving. Oopsie! 🔥🤭

So, if you’re tired of being single and wanna engage in some blocky shenanigans that could only exist in dreams or possibly a mildly touched- April Fool’s, hop on! I can’t promise you’ll find true love, but I can promise you’ll get a bunch of funky stories to tell while you weep silently in your Minecraft bed.

Join us, or forever remain a lonely noob in the land of boring vanilla! Let’s get this pixel party started! 🎉