I found ArcticMC SMP and it is a chill survival server that mixes Towny and factions. They are getting ready to start a brand new world soon so it feels like a good time to jump in before the reset and watch the chaos start.

You can build a town claim land make allies or try to take territory. PvP matters here and they also run an honor system. They explain it in their Discord rules so fights are not just random griefy stuff.

It also has McMMO style skill leveling so you keep getting stronger as you play. There are custom items too and they even have furniture. The world uses Tectonic generation so the terrain is big and realistic with mountains and valleys. The community is calm friendly and kind of atmospheric so you can grind build or just vibe.