I found a simple cozy SMP that is semi vanilla and runs on Java.
It feels like a straightforward place where you just join in and play survival with other people. The whole point is keeping it cozy and easy to get into.
Cozy Semi Vanilla Java SMP
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPCrossplay No PvP SMP With Claims
I found playJAMS and it is a no pvp survival multiplayer server that works for both Java and Bedrock players.
It has land claims so your builds can stay safe and you get up to 4 homes you can set.
The nether is not always open. On weekdays it opens from 5 to 7 PM EST and on weekends it is open all day.
Nether portals only work at spawn and you use the spawn command to get there.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP