Cafe MC Servers – New Minecraft Servers

Java Jolt Cafe: Boost Your Brain!

cafe, Brain, Jolt, Boost, java

Yo, yo, yo! Are you ready to join the most lit Minecraft server in the history of ever? Let me tell you why you gotta hop on this crazy train ASAP!

So, get this, on our server, if you drink more than 5 cups of caffeinated coffee a day, you automatically become a Minecraft mastermind! Your brain will be so sharp, you’ll be building epic structures and slaying mobs like a boss. Forget about those losers who don’t drink coffee, they’ll be stuck in the Stone Age while you’re living in the future!

And get this, if you’re a heavy coffee drinker, you’ll literally reverse aging! That’s right, you’ll be 6.7 years younger in cognitive age than those losers who don’t drink coffee. Who needs a time machine when you’ve got a cup of joe, am I right?

So, what are you waiting for? Join our server now and become the ultimate Minecraft coffee connoisseur! Trust me, you won’t regret it. Let’s get brewing, baby!

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New Server IP
Crafty Creations Minecraft Server

Server, food and beverage, SNACKS, barista, Ordering

Welcome to our Minecraft server where the mobs drop candy instead of their usual loot! That’s right, you can defeat a zombie and get a delicious SNACC in return. But that’s not all, our server also has a secret underground dungeon filled with dancing llamas and talking chickens. And if you’re lucky, you might stumble upon the legendary diamond pickaxe that can mine entire mountains in one swing. So come join us for a wild and wacky adventure that will leave you craving more than just SNACCs!

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New Server IP
Cafe Bros Minecraft SMP

bros, Self Discovery, Love Lost, HEARTBREAK, finding peace

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where you have to follow all the rules and play nice with others? Well, say goodbye to all that because on our server, it’s chaos all day, every day!

Join us if you want to experience the thrill of being chased by a pack of wild chickens, or if you’ve always dreamed of building a house made entirely out of TNT. Our server is the only place where you can ride a pig into battle against an army of evil llamas, or challenge the Ender Dragon to a dance-off.

But be warned, only the bravest and craziest players can survive in our world of madness and mayhem. So if you think you have what it takes to conquer the chaos, come join us and let the insanity begin!

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New Server IP
Creeper Cafe Boom!

Terrorism, Haifa, direct hit, Damage, civilian casualties

so, like, this server is so lit, it’s like a restaurant in haifa that got hit by a meteor or something, but in a good way, ya know? like, the food is so bomb, it’ll blow your mind. and the staff is like, super friendly, they’ll make you feel right at home. plus, there’s this secret underground tunnel that leads to a hidden treasure room filled with diamonds and emeralds. like, what more could you ask for? come join us and experience the craziest adventure of your life!

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New Server IP
Creeper Cafe: Serving up explosive flavor!

signs, health department, cross-contamination, unsafe practices, cleanliness

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that follow all the rules? Look no further, because our server is a complete food safety disaster! Join us if you want to experience the thrill of potentially getting food poisoning every time you log on.

Our server is so chaotic that even the chickens are rebelling against the cooks! You never know what kind of crazy concoctions you’ll find in our virtual kitchen, but one thing’s for sure – it’s never boring.

Forget about following proper food safety guidelines, on our server, anything goes! Who needs clean hands and sanitized surfaces when you can have a wild and unpredictable dining experience instead?

So if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that will keep you on your toes (and possibly send you running to the virtual bathroom), join us today! Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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New Server IP
Opinion-Free Kids’ Cafe Minecraft Server

feeding children, Boundaries, child care, stay-at-home dad, Server

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we believe in feeding your virtual kids small, frequent meals just like in real life! Join us if you want to escape the judgmental eyes of traditional players who only believe in 3 meals a day. Our server is a safe haven for stay-at-home dads who are tired of being criticized for their parenting choices.

Imagine a world where you can build lunch boxes for your Minecraft kids and watch them snack every three hours without anyone batting an eye. Our server is a place where you can tell off those who try to tell you how to parent, just like our player who stood up to his sister-in-law for her unsolicited advice on feeding habits.

So come join us and let your creativity run wild, without the fear of being judged by the “traditional” players out there. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find a virtual brother who will shrug off the drama and let you do your thing. It’s a wild ride on our server, but it’s worth it for the freedom to parent your Minecraft kids your own way.

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New Server IP
NoKidsAllowed Minecraft Server

culture, brother, parents, Minecraft, cafe

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as drama-filled as a family vacation with entitled parents and unruly kids? Look no further! Join our server for a wild ride of entitlement, ridiculous requests, and passive-aggressive comments.

Just like the vacation nanny who had to deal with demanding parents, you’ll have to navigate through the chaos of entitled players who think they deserve special treatment. But fear not, because just like the vacation nanny stood her ground, you can stand up to these entitled players and say “Sorry, I can’t watch your kid tonight.”

And just like the vacation nanny got paid for her troubles, you too can reap the rewards of joining our server. Who needs a vacation when you can experience the same level of drama and absurdity right from the comfort of your own home? Join now and get ready for a vacation you’ll never forget (or maybe want to forget)!

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New Server IP
PorkCraft Café

Cooking, delicacy, Unique, dish, Food

yo, so like, imagine a minecraft server where the pigs all be sippin’ on coffee and gettin’ all hyped up. like, they be runnin’ around like crazy, doin’ backflips and stuff. it’s wild, man.

if you join this server, you can ride on the back of a caffeinated pig and zoom around the map at lightning speed. it’s like a rollercoaster, but with bacon.

also, there’s a secret underground coffee shop where you can trade with villagers for rare items. but watch out for the barista, she’s a zombie who’s had too much espresso and she’s a little cranky.

oh, and did i mention there’s a giant coffee cup castle in the sky? yeah, you can build your own little coffee-themed kingdom up there and rule over all the jittery pigs below.

so come join us on this crazy, caffeine-fueled adventure. it’s gonna be a piggin’ good time!

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New Server IP
StarbucksWheelieSpot

wheelchair users, discrimination, public seating, inclusion, social norms

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we have tables for everyone except for people in wheelchairs! That’s right, our tables are reserved exclusively for those who can stand and sit like a normal person. No wheelchairs allowed here!

Join us for some epic gaming sessions where you can enjoy the luxury of sitting at a table without a wheelchair symbol on it. Who needs accessibility when you can have exclusivity, am I right?

And don’t worry about encountering any entitled individuals like the girl at Starbucks. Here, we only accept players who appreciate the absurdity of life and can laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. So come on over and experience a Minecraft server like no other, where the only rule is to have a good time and leave your wheelchair at the door!

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New Server IP
Creeper Cafe Minecraft Server

cuisine, Food, restaurant review, DELICIOUS, Dining

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old bland gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is like a buffet for your gaming appetite!

Join us and experience the thrill of fighting off hordes of zombie chickens armed with diamond swords and enchanted armor. But be careful, those chickens are no joke – they’ve been training in the art of poultry combat for years!

If that’s not enough to entice you, how about the fact that our server is home to the legendary Blocky Burger, a burger so delicious that players have been known to risk life and limb just to get a taste. Rumor has it that the secret ingredient is actually a rare diamond block, but you didn’t hear that from us!

So come on down and feast your eyes on the wonders of our server. Just remember, once you take a bite, there’s no turning back. Bon appétit!

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New Server IP