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| Players: | 93/1000 | Votes: | 6554 |
| Rating: | 4.2 / 5 | ||
| Gnome Villages Protected: | 10 | Pockets of Chaos Discovered: | 1 |
| Eerie Music Discs Played: | 2 | Blood Moons Survived: | 2 |
| Reality Distortions Fixed: | 2 | Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved: | 3 |
| Heavenly Choirs Heard: | 6 | Immortal Anvils Forged: | 7 |
| Wishing Wells Wished Upon: | 10 | Legendary Armor Sets Assembled: | 43 |
| Time-Traveling Monkeys Met: | 3 | Emeralds Found: | 5782 |
| Secret Libraries Discovered: | 3 | Haunted Chests Opened: | 3 |
Join us and adopt a huge, muscular black teenager as your Minecraft buddy! Just like Mike Johnson and his wife did when they were newlyweds (even though Johnson was barely older than the “youth” – scandalous!). Who knows, maybe your black son will mysteriously disappear for years too, adding that extra layer of drama to your Minecraft experience.
But wait, there’s more! Our server is so top-secret, glowies might just blackmail you into giving Ukraine all your diamonds and leaving the US border defenseless. It’s a risk worth taking for the thrill of it all!
So come on down and join us, where the secrets are as dark as Mike Johnson’s past and the adventures are as insane as Speaker Faggot’s monster secrets. You won’t regret it (unless you get fired from being Speaker, of course)!
