I found Eternal Region SMP and it is a Java server on 1.21.11 for ages 16 and up. Season 3 is back and it goes for that classic SMP feel with a long term world.
It plays mostly vanilla with small upgrades. You can run shops do PvE and only do PvP if both sides agree. They also do community events and they even vote on features and choices.
Phantoms are turned off and you get phantom membrane from bats instead. Creepers and endermen cannot mess up your builds. The overworld has a 10k border so the world stays tight.
They support Simple Voice Mod for in game chat. They also use CoreProtect so grief and theft can get handled fast. The server feels rules focused and community first.
