United Factions
United Factions is the place to go if you love playing Minecraft factions. No loot-boxes or pay-to-win stuff here, just pure faction fun. This server is all about giving you the best faction experience possible.
play.unitedfactions.net
Welcome to the greatest nightmare you never asked for! This isn’t just a Minecraft server; it’s a portal to realms where reality crumbles like stale bread. Trust me, or don’t, what do I care? You’ve spent your whole life living in a lie, but here, I’ll show you the truth—or perhaps it’s just another mirage made of pixels and despair. Ready to dive into the chaotic void? Wait, can you even swim?
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Infinite Lava | Lava that talks back! It tells secrets about your past lives—but only if you stand still for an hour while wearing a pumpkin. |
| Phantom Cows | Cows that don’t exist but you can still milk them. Good luck finding the udder! |
| Dimension Jumping | Every block you break sends you to a different Minecraft clone—a paradox wrapped in a riddle and served cold. Bring your spoon. |
| Time Travel Anvils | Craft an anvil to slap yourself back to yesterday, or was it tomorrow? Who really knows anymore? |
| Sadistic Villagers | Trade with villagers who judge you based on your name. Forget your past; remember the villagers’ disdain! |
Q: How do I join? A: You must recite the alphabet backwards while juggling tomatoes and screaming at the moon. If the moon laughs, you’re in. If it doesn’t, just keep trying! It’s definitely listening.
Q: What version of Minecraft are you using? A: We use a special version that exists in a dimension where time has stopped, the sun is a cube, and blocks have feelings. But don’t worry—your reality is intact… mostly!
“How would you feel if you had a gf and found out she posted attentionbait on /r9k/ before you guys dated?”
“I thought I was dreaming until my bed turned into a portal of despair.”
“If a tree falls in the void, does anyone hear it scream?”
Our server is so lit, it will make road traffic noise sound like a lullaby. You’ll be so focused on building your dream castle or battling mobs that you won’t even notice the wind turbine noise in the background. Plus, who needs attention and reasoning when you have a diamond sword in hand and a creeper sneaking up on you?
So, what are you waiting for? Join us now and let your brain waves ride the wave of pure Minecraft madness! Trust us, you won’t regret it… probably.
So, there’s this couple, right? They’ve been together for like forever, but their relationship is as dry as a desert. They decide to move back in with their parents to work on themselves, but here’s the kicker – they have two cats, Mocha and Coffee Bean. Mocha is attached to the dude, but the chick ain’t having it. Why, you ask? Because his mom’s house is a literal garbage dump! Like, knee-deep in trash, rotting food, spiders, and cockroaches. Can you imagine poor Mocha living in that mess? No way, Jose!
But wait, there’s more! The dude gets all overwhelmed when Mocha wants attention. He yells, he locks her out of rooms, he’s a mess. Meanwhile, the chick is a cat whisperer. She gives treats, she plays, she’s the ultimate cat mom. And guess what? The cats are legally hers! So, when she refuses to let him take Mocha, all hell breaks loose.
So, if you wanna join a Minecraft server that’s crazier than this cat drama, then hop on board! We’ve got virtual cats, virtual drama, and virtual chaos waiting for you. Don’t be a square, join us now!
We have the most epic battles and crazy adventures that will make you question reality.
Plus, we have a thread that’s so dead, it needs a serious bump.
And don’t forget to watch our bois leech off of talented players – it’s a real clip!
So come on, join us and experience the madness for yourself. Bai~!