abysmal Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

Windows 7 and Supermium Minecraft SMP

4chan, abysmal, browser, CPU, Faster, HDD, linux, Machine, Minecraft, obsolete machine, RAM, retard, screen resolution, smp, SSD, Supermium, TFT monitors, Use, web browser, windows, windows 11, windows 7

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Players:	109/600	Votes:	376
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Invisible Pathways Walked:	4	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	4
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	1	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1
Magical Familiars Summoned:	5	Glitched Entities Encountered:	3
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	5	Hidden Passages Discovered:	3
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	9
Dragons Tamed:	3	Cursed Taverns Survived:	2
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	10	Endless Night Skies:	4

Are you tired of slow servers with boring players? Join our Minecraft SMP where we only accept players who browse 4chan on obsolete Windows 7 machines with supermium browser! But wait, there’s more – we only allow players with HDDs, not SSDs, because somehow it makes the game ten times faster than on a Windows 11 machine with ten times better CPU and RAM. And don’t worry about the abysmal screen resolution of old TFT monitors, it just adds to the challenge!

But here’s the catch – you must use Windows 7, no Linux allowed! Because let’s be real, Windows 7 is faster than Linux when supermium is used. So if you’re ready for a wild ride filled with outrageous tech requirements and insane stories, join our Minecraft SMP today!

ShitCraft: The Ultimate Minecraft Server

abysmal, Atrocious, Awful, bad, DISAPPOINTING, dismal, Failure, fucking, Horrible, inadequate, lousy, Minecraft, not good enough, poor performance, Server, Shit, ShitCraft, subpar, Terrible, Ultimate, UNACCEPTABLE, underwhelming, unsatisfactory

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Players:	95/600	Votes:	908
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1	Teleportation Mishaps:	5
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3	Epic Battles Fought:	8
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	9	Phantom Knights Defeated:	9
Forbidden Tomes Read:	1	Forbidden Relics Collected:	0
Twisted Realms Survived:	1	Phantom Rings Equipped:	23
Endless Mazes Solved:	3	Runes Activated:	4
Backwards Speech Heard:	3	Cursed Amulets Found:	5

Welcome to the most chaotic and ridiculous Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter! Why should you join us, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story about our server.

Once upon a time, a player joined our server and was immediately greeted by a herd of dancing pigs wearing top hats. Yes, you read that right. These pigs were busting out some sick moves to the tune of “Baby Shark” and the player couldn’t help but join in on the fun.

But that’s not all! Our server is home to the legendary Chicken Army, led by a chicken named Sir Clucksalot. This army marches around the server, clucking orders and causing chaos wherever they go. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a chicken riding a pig into battle.

And let’s not forget about our infamous “TNT Tuesdays,” where every block you break has a chance of exploding into a giant fireball. It’s like playing Russian roulette with blocks, and it’s as exhilarating as it is terrifying.

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that’s as wild and unpredictable as a llama on a pogo stick, then look no further. Join us today and prepare for a gaming experience like no other. Just remember, we are fucking shit, but in the best way possible.

Abysmal SMP: Where even the squids are terrified! Join if you dare, 1.20+ on Discord!

abysmal, brand new, Community, Datapacks, Dedicated, Discord, java, Join, members, Minecraft, quality of life, Reach, Release, Server, smp, Squids, Terrified, up and coming, Vanilla

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Players:	100/900	Votes:	1309
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	13
Cursed Amulets Found:	3	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	3	Royal Decrees Issued:	2
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1	Mines Excavated:	1958
Soul Contracts Signed:	1	Mysterious Portals Opened:	6
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1	Enchantments Applied:	137
Epic Battles Fought:	18	Lava Oceans Crossed:	2

Abyss SMP Overview

Server Type	Whitelisted Minecraft Java SMP
Features	Vanilla experience with quality of life datapacks
Community	Great community atmosphere
Discord	Join our Discord

FAQ

1. How do I join the Abyss SMP?

You will need to join our Discord server and fill out an application to be added to the whitelist. Once approved, you will receive the server IP.

2. Are there any rules on the server?

Yes, we have a list of rules that all players must adhere to. These rules are meant to ensure a positive and respectful environment for all players.

3. Are there any banned items or blocks on the server?

We aim to keep the server experience as close to vanilla as possible, so we have a limited list of banned items and blocks. Check our Discord server for the most up-to-date information.

4. Can I invite my friends to join the server?

Yes, you can invite your friends to join the server. However, they will also need to go through the application process to be added to the whitelist.

5. Do you have any events or activities planned for the server?

We have regular events and activities planned for the server, including build competitions, mini-games, and community events. Join our Discord server to stay updated on upcoming events.

Forever YoungCraft

“Youth, age is just a number, aging, aging gracefully, aging process, Cherishing moments, embracing age, gratefulness, growing older, inner growth, life stages, living in the present, mindfulness, Reflection, SELF AWARENESS, self-acceptance, time passing, time perception, Timeless wisdom, wisdom, YoungCraft

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Players:	95/100	Votes:	6461
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Arcane Towers Raised:	3	Crystal Caves Mapped:	8
Dragonfire Shields Forged:	5	Curse of Binding Applied:	3
Evil Portals Destroyed:	1	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2
Portal Loops Escaped:	0	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2
Fabled Crowns Discovered:	10	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	4
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	53	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	3
Battle Standards Raised:	15	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	50

join our epic minecraft server where time is just a suggestion and age is just a number. we have flying pigs, talking sheep, and a secret underground disco party hosted by a group of dancing creepers.

need a break from mining? take a ride on our rainbow rollercoaster that goes through a portal to a land of endless candy and unicorns.

want to show off your building skills? we have a competition where you have to build a house out of nothing but diamonds and obsidian. winner gets a pet dragon that shoots fireballs at griefers.

come join us and experience the wackiest, wildest minecraft server in the universe. who needs reality when you have a world where anything is possible?

JavaJunkiesCraft

behavioral genetics, caffeine metabolism, coffee addiction, coffee consumption, coffee drinking behaviors, coffee genetics, coffee habits, coffee preferences, DNA variations, Genetic differences, genetic factors, genetic influences, genetic markers, genetic predisposition, genetic research, genetic study, genetic variations, genetics, influence, JavaJunkiesCraft, personalized nutrition

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Players:	104/500	Votes:	8035
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	2	Chimeras Created:	1
Cosmic Pies Baked:	7	Enchanted Forests Planted:	5
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	34	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3
Titan Hearts Harvested:	2	Gods Slained:	2
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2	Lost Souls Rescued:	6
Dragon Scales Harvested:	163	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	12
Cursed Lands Purified:	5	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	3

so, like, u know how sum peeps drink, like, 20 cups of coffee a day and sum peeps are all like “nah, i’ll pass”? well, dis server is like dat, but with minecraft. we got peeps who build 20 houses a day and peeps who just chill in a cave all day. it’s all cuz of their genetic differences, man. like, sum peeps are born to mine and sum peeps are born to build. it’s wild, dude.

if u wanna see how ur genes influence ur minecraft skills, u gotta join dis server. we got scientists studying ur gameplay and figuring out why u do what u do. it’s like a virtual lab experiment, but with blocks and creepers. plus, we got free coffee for all players. cuz, u know, genetic differences and stuff.

so, come join us on dis crazy minecraft server where ur genes determine ur destiny. who knows, maybe u were born to be the next minecraft pro. or maybe u were born to be the next minecraft hermit. either way, it’s gonna be a wild ride.

PixelPals Minecraft Server

action, Adventure, Anime, Antagonist, battle, Boys, Comic, Coming of Age, emotional, FANTASY, friendship, genre, japanese, Manga, Minecraft, PixelPals, Popular, Protagonist, series, Server, SHONEN, Supernatural, young adult

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Players:	97/800	Votes:	9374
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Talking Trees Consulted:	5	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	9
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1	Vanishing Structures Built:	2
Eternal Flames Captured:	8	Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	2
Dragon Scales Harvested:	479	Sentient Weapons Trained:	1
Forbidden Tomes Read:	7	Shattered Realms Restored:	0
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	6	Astral Orbs Gathered:	16
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	9	Quantum Bards Serenaded:	1

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where you just mine and craft all day? Well, look no further because our server is like a shonen anime come to life! Join us for epic battles with creepers, where you can unleash your inner ninja skills and take down enemies with your trusty diamond sword!

But that’s not all – our server has a secret underground maze filled with treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Rumor has it that if you can navigate through the maze and defeat the Ender Dragon at the end, you’ll be rewarded with a magical unicorn mount that shoots rainbows out of its horn!

And if you’re feeling extra brave, take on our PvP arena where you can challenge other players to a duel to the death. Winner takes all the diamonds and bragging rights for being the ultimate warrior of the server!

So what are you waiting for? Join us now and embark on the adventure of a lifetime in this shonen-inspired Minecraft server!

MineCrafty Ark – A Modern Minecraft Server

#Akafuyu, #Ascalon, #Penance, AK EN Database, akg, Ansel skin, Ark, arknights, Astgenne, aurora, beeswax, Blacknight, Caster Carnelian, Caster Nymph, Caster Warmy, Catapult skin, cement, Coral Coast, Corroserum, Defender Bassline, Defender Eunectes, Degenbrecher, Earthspirit Skin, Fang The Fire-Sharpened, Global, Guard Zuo Le, jp, KR, Kroos the Keen Glint skin, Leto, Minecraft, minecrafty, Mint, MODERN, Proviso, Qiubai, Ray of Light, Reed The Flame Shadow, Saileach, Santalla, Server, Sniper Toddifons, Specialist Almond, Specialist Dorothy, Stainless, Supporter Proviso, Totter, typhon, Valuable resources, Vanguard Mitm, Windflit

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Players:	98/400	Votes:	2286
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	2	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2
Epic Mounts Acquired:	7	Dragons Tamed:	7
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	5	Herobrine Sightings:	7
Infinite Doors Opened:	3	Dragon Scales Harvested:	385
Elemental Crystals Collected:	87	Forbidden Tomes Read:	7
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	2	Sentient Weapons Trained:	6
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	2	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2

Welcome to the most chaotic and hilarious Minecraft server you’ll ever encounter! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you some outrageous reasons:

1. We have a special event where you can ride a flying pig around the server and drop anvils on unsuspecting players below. It’s like a twisted version of Angry Birds, but with pigs!

2. Our custom skins include a dancing banana, a talking potato, and a disco llama. You’ll never run out of wacky outfits to wear while exploring the blocky world.

3. Want to challenge the Ender Dragon while riding a roller coaster made of TNT? Well, you can do that on our server! Just make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy.

4. We have a secret underground base filled with treasure chests, but beware – the chests are guarded by a pack of mischievous baby zombies riding chickens. Good luck trying to steal their loot!

5. If you’re lucky, you might stumble upon a hidden portal that leads to a dimension where everything is made of candy. Just be careful not to eat too much, or you might get a sugar rush!

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server now and prepare for a wild and wacky adventure like no other!

ExHubbyGamer Minecraft Server

ABUSIVE, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict, ex husband, ExHubbyGamer, Friends, gatherings, History, husband, loyalty, Minecraft, past, relationships, Respect, safe space, Server, social circles, sports, Support, Trauma, Ultimatums, UNCOMFORTABLE

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Players:	108/300	Votes:	3773
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	17	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	3
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Mythical Relics Collected:	11
Paranormal Events Investigated:	3	Titanic Battles Fought:	18
Mineshafts Explored:	4	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	4	Reality Distortions Fixed:	3
Votes:	9558	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2
World-Altering Spells Cast:	2	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	5

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where drama unfolds like a soap opera in the virtual world! Join us for a wild ride filled with twists and turns that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about relationships.

Picture this: you’re happily building your dream castle when suddenly, your ex shows up out of nowhere to cause chaos. Will you stand your ground and defend your territory, or will you flee in fear? The choice is yours on our server!

But wait, there’s more! Join us for epic battles and showdowns as you navigate the complicated web of friendships and alliances. Will you choose loyalty to your friends, or will you forge your own path to victory?

Don’t miss out on the chance to experience the ultimate test of trust and betrayal in a world where anything can happen. Join our server now and see if you have what it takes to survive the drama!

ScareCraft Minecraft Server

bloodcurdling, bone-chilling, chilling, creepy, Disturbing, eerie, fear-inducing, frightful, goosebumps, hair-raising, HORRIFYING, horror film, Minecraft, Nightmarish, panic-inducing, petrifying, ScareCraft, scary movie, scream-worthy, Server, spine-chilling, Terrifying, Thriller

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Players:	97/700	Votes:	9667
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Phantom Blocks Placed:	6	Living Statues Befriended:	1
Wyrmholes Dug:	2	Animals Bred:	136
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	3	Star Shards Collected:	108
Backwards Speech Heard:	5	Omnipotent Charms Created:	4
Enchantments Applied:	127	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	3
Dragons Tamed:	1	Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	3
Paranormal Events Investigated:	4	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	5

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers that are about as scary as a fluffy bunny? Well, look no further because our server will have you shaking in your diamond boots!

Join us if you dare for a Minecraft experience that will have you screaming like a creeper in a TNT factory. Our world is filled with haunted mansions, spooky forests, and even a haunted mine shaft where the ghosts of past players still roam.

But beware, because the scariest part of all is our secret underground dungeon where the souls of griefers past are trapped forever. Will you be brave enough to explore its depths and claim the treasures within? Or will you run away like a chicken with its head cut off?

So if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that will make your hair stand on end and your heart race with fear, then join us today…if you dare!

CraftyLove: Diamonds & Dirt

Commitment, Communication, compatibility, compromise, Connection, CraftyLove, diamonds, Dirt, Empathy, forgiveness, Happiness, Honesty, Intimacy, love, loyalty, Partnership, patience, relationship, Respect, Support, teamwork, Trust, Understanding

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Players:	90/600	Votes:	6260
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Epic Mounts Acquired:	8	Royal Courts Attended:	3
Time-Warping Watches Found:	1	Immortal Anvils Forged:	9
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	8
Phantom Rings Equipped:	20	Epic Quests Completed:	13
Magical Ponies Rescued:	8	Soul Contracts Signed:	3
Orbs of Power Found:	3	Astral Mages Summoned:	4
Zombie Dances:	4	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	3

Well, on our Minecraft server, the most important thing in a relationship is how many diamonds you can mine together! Forget about flowers and chocolates, nothing says love like building a diamond castle with your significant other.

Join our server and find your Minecraft soulmate! Who knows, you might even have a Minecraft wedding complete with pixelated cake and creeper fireworks.

So if you’re looking for love and diamonds in all the right places, come join us on our server and get ready for a Minecraft love story like no other!

CraftyPolishDefense

Armed Forces, budget allocation, CraftyPolishDefense, defense budget, defense industry, defense policy, defense spending, defense strategy, eastern europe, european union, gdp, geopolitical tensions, INCREASE, Military, military capabilities, military modernization, national security, nato, Poland, SECURITY, Warsaw Pact

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Players:	106/900	Votes:	410
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Holy Grails Found:	3	Magic Crystals Found:	12
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	2	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	1
Crops Grown:	6596	Cursed Artifacts Recovered:	14
Reality Distortions Fixed:	3	Evil Lairs Raided:	8
Soul Contracts Signed:	2	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	12
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	12	Celestial Beings Befriended:	2
Immortal Anvils Forged:	12	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	1

come join our epic minecraft server and help us build the most epic defense system ever! we need all the help we can get to protect our precious virtual land from evil creepers and zombies. plus, we have a secret underground bunker filled with diamonds and gold waiting for you to discover. so come on, join us and be a part of the most epic defense force in all of minecraft!

MartiniCraft007

British, classic, Cocktail, drink order, Espionage, iconic, james bond, james bond movies, martini, MartiniCraft007, secret agent, shaken, shaken martini, shaken martini recipe, shaken not stired, shaken not stirred, shaken not stirred quote, SOPHISTICATED, Spy, stirred, watery martini

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Players:	106/400	Votes:	3231
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Chaos Gates Opened:	1	Eerie Music Discs Played:	5
Shadow Figures Spotted:	1	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Talking Trees Consulted:	4	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2
Villages Defended:	8	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	178
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	5	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	2
Eternal Flames Captured:	6	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	3
Immortal Potions Brewed:	3	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	21

Yo, you wanna join this epic Minecraft server because we got James Bond up in here ordering his martinis all wrong! Like, who even cares if it’s shaken or stirred, maybe he likes it watery and bruised, who knows?! Join us for some crazy adventures and questionable drink choices, it’s gonna be lit! 🍸🔥 #ShakenNotStirred #MinecraftMadness

BrokeBois Minecraft Server

BROKE, BrokeBois, coupon scam, determination, employment, family, finance, Financial Stability, Financial Success, hard work, income, Junkies, Minecraft, MONEY, opportunities, POVERTY, Server, Siblings, Struggle, success, upbringing, wealth, Weed

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Players:	96/600	Votes:	2530
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Godly Talismans Bestowed:	7	Meteorites Collected:	2
Phantom Horses Ridden:	4	Zombie Dances:	6
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	2	Ores Mined:	9444
Epic Quests Completed:	11	Eternal Flames Captured:	5
Haunted Mines Explored:	3	Dimensional Rifts Closed:	3
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	2	Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	0
Players Killed by Monsters:	4188	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	3

Are you tired of being broke in Minecraft when it’s so easy to make money? Well, look no further than our server! Just like how I went from coupon scamming and selling weed to making bank in finance, you too can level up your virtual wallet in no time.

Join us and you’ll be rolling in diamonds faster than my stoner middle brother drives boats (yes, that’s his job and he makes 60k, don’t ask how). We’ve got kids acting like they hit the lottery when they get paid 20 an hour on our server – it’s a wild ride, just like my upbringing with junkie parents.

So why stay broke in Minecraft when you can join our server and make virtual bank like a pro? Come on, don’t be a retard like my middle brother – join us now!