RetroPrison | New Minecraft Servers 2025

Frosty Haven 1.21

anti-semitism, assumption, Blaming, conspiracy theories, cultural biases, dindu nuffin, discrimination, Fault, frosty, Haven, Jews, Noticing, noticing patterns, power dynamics, prejudice, racism, scapegoating, societal issues, Stereotypes, Stormfags, White Man, white version

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Players:	96/500	Votes:	8857
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1	Legendary Items Repaired:	7
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	4	Ether Blades Crafted:	4
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4	Mythical Relics Collected:	9
Buildings Constructed:	28	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	16
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	36	Epic Weapons Forged:	8
Spectral Entities Defeated:	1	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	16
Celestial Crowns Worn:	3	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	8

Yo, bro, you gotta join this Minecraft server, like, ASAP! Why, you ask? Well, lemme tell ya, it’s like a conspiracy theory paradise up in here. We got stormfags blaming Jews for everything, even if it’s a white dude in charge. Like, they think the Jews are pulling all the strings, man. It’s wild, I tell ya! So, if you wanna dive deep into the world of crazy theories while building epic structures in Minecraft, this server is where it’s at! Join now and let the madness begin!

Cute Flip Loli Wife Minecraft SMP

adorable, affectionate, asian, Beautiful, couple goals, cute, cute wife, Filipino, Flip, Flip Loli, Flip Loli wife, Happy, Joyful, Loli, love, Lovely, marriage goals, married life, Minecraft, relationship, smiling, smp, SWEET, Wife

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Players:	107/400	Votes:	3789
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Dragon Eggs Found:	4237	Epic Bosses Defeated:	4
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	5	Time-Warping Watches Found:	2
Demon Skulls Collected:	47	Celestial Events Witnessed:	1
Forbidden Grimoires Read:	2	Cursed Villages Purged:	4
Lunar Scepters Activated:	4	Whispering Caves Entered:	7
New Chunks Explored:	204550	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	5
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	6

Join our Minecraft SMP for a chance to meet my adorable Flip Loli wife, who is the reigning queen of our server! She will guide you through the treacherous lands of our world with her magical powers and impeccable fashion sense. Plus, rumor has it she can summon an army of rainbow sheep to do her bidding. So if you want to hang out with the coolest couple in Minecraft history and witness some truly epic adventures, come join us today! Just be prepared for some unexpected twists and turns along the way – like that time we accidentally turned our entire village into flying pigs. Oops!

WifeWatch Minecraft Server

Boundaries, checking in, Communication, confusion, control, emotional response, hurt feelings, late night, marriage conflict, marriage counseling, marriage issues, midnight phone call, Minecraft, ownership, Partnership, personal space, relationship dynamics, Respect, Server, Support, Trust, Understanding, WifeWatch

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Players:	110/600	Votes:	4504
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	2	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	1	Chaos Gates Opened:	1
Demonic Pacts Formed:	3	Talking Trees Consulted:	2
Phantom Knights Defeated:	9	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1
Rainbows Spotted:	6	Cursed Villages Purged:	4
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2
Dragon Eggs Found:	988	Mystic Mirrors Unlocked:	2

Looking for a Minecraft server that understands the importance of communication? Look no further than our server, where we encourage midnight phone calls to check in on your loved ones! Join us for a night of fun and adventure, where we promise not to accuse you of trying to control the situation or thinking you own us. Our server is the perfect place to work out any marriage issues you may have, all while building epic structures and battling mobs. So come join us and let’s build a better future together, one block at a time!

GiftGriefCraft

aita, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Consumption issues, emotional labor, ethical consumption, Family didn’t respect wishes, family dynamics, Generosity, gift giving, gift refusal, GiftGriefCraft, gratefulness, living space, Minimalist, Opposite of minimal, practical gifts, shopping addiction, unwanted gifts, Wasteful

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Players:	97/300	Votes:	8255
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Dragon Scales Harvested:	198	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	4
Fairy Circles Danced In:	11	World-Altering Spells Cast:	0
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	4	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	1
Phantom Horses Ridden:	1	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3
Heroic Legacies Created:	7	Glorious Feasts Held:	7
Endless Night Skies:	4	Goblin Markets Raided:	4
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	6	Magic Wands Crafted:	11

Are you tired of receiving useless gifts from your family every Christmas? Do you dread the thought of driving around with unwanted presents in your car until summer? Look no further, join our Minecraft server and escape the cycle of gift-giving madness!

Our server is a safe haven for those who have had enough of receiving purses, scarves, and other random junk they don’t need. Say goodbye to the stress of dealing with unwanted gifts and hello to a community of like-minded individuals who understand your struggle.

Don’t let your family guilt-trip you into accepting gifts you don’t want. Block your sister, ignore the tears, and join our server where you can finally say no to unnecessary presents. Who needs a Bluetooth speaker when you can have a virtual world full of adventure and fun?

So come on, join us and let’s celebrate a gift-free Christmas together! Who needs material possessions when you have the gift of friendship and laughter in the world of Minecraft?

GirlPower Minecraft SMP

athletic ability, Female Athletes, gender equality, gender stereotypes, girlpower, Minecraft, physical differences, smp, sports analysis, sports competition, sports dominance, sports gender gap, sports performance, sports performance comparison, sports physiology, sports psychology, sports research, sports science, sports skills, sports statistics, sports training, Women in sports

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Players:	108/800	Votes:	5621
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	3	Shadow Realms Conquered:	2
Eldritch Scrolls Read:	7	Paranormal Events Investigated:	4
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	1	Pirate Ships Raided:	3
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3	Unholy Beasts Tamed:	1
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	0	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	16
Cursed Swords Broken:	1	Omnipotent Charms Created:	3
Crops Grown:	3227	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	70

OMG, so like, on this totally epic Minecraft SMP, we have this crazy competition where women can totally dominate the men! It’s like, this wild PvP tournament where the ladies just wreck the dudes every time. It’s all because they have this secret power-up that gives them super strength and speed. And like, the men are just left in awe of their amazing skills. So if you wanna see some girl power in action, you gotta join our SMP and witness the epic battles for yourself! It’s like, the ultimate showdown of the sexes, but with blocks and swords and stuff. So come join us and witness the madness!

CraftyBrokeLand

budgeting, cost-prohibitive, CraftyBrokeLand, economic burden, excessive spending, expensive, Extravagant, financial strain, high cost, inflation, Lavish, luxury, not worth it, out of reach, Overpriced, price hike, price increase, unaffordable, unattainable, unreasonably expensive, unsustainable

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Players:	99/100	Votes:	4322
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	5	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	36
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	2	Immortal Anvils Forged:	8
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	2	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	3
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	4	Invisible Walls Found:	2
Magical Ponies Rescued:	3	Chimeras Created:	2
Players Killed by Monsters:	9969	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	44	Falling into the Void:	0

Tired of spending all your diamonds on overpriced enchanted gear? Come join our Minecraft server where everything is so cheap, it’s practically free! We’ve got villagers selling diamond armor for the price of a single emerald, and you can buy a stack of enchanted golden apples for just a few measly iron ingots.

But that’s not all – our server is also home to the legendary Pigman King, who showers players with riches and rare items just for saying “oink” in chat. And if you’re lucky, you might stumble upon the secret underground disco party where mobs drop nothing but enchanted loot and dance to the beat of note blocks.

So why waste your time grinding for resources when you can join our server and live like a Minecraft millionaire without breaking a sweat? Come on in and experience the most ridiculous and hilarious Minecraft server you’ve ever seen!

UkrainianCraft: 52 Drones Down, 44 Vanished

aerial threats, air superiority, Attack, Conflict, Defense, defense systems, destroy, Drones, Military, Military operations, missile defense, national security, Overnight, Radar, russia, Surveillance, Technology, UAVs, Ukrainian air defences, UkrainianCraft, VANISHED, WARFARE

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Players:	94/700	Votes:	6957
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Time-Warping Watches Found:	1	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	4
Immortal Potions Brewed:	6	Omnipotent Charms Created:	4
Unseen Monsters Slain:	2	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	4	Herobrine Sightings:	2
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	4	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	0
Chaos Orbs Controlled:	7	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	1
Sentient Weapons Trained:	5	Shadow Realms Conquered:	2

Yo, you gotta join this cray cray Minecraft server, cuz it’s like Ukrainian air defences up in here destroying 52 out of 103 UAVs launched by Russia overnight! And get this, 44 more just straight up disappear from radar like magic! It’s like a war zone up in this server, but with blocks and creepers instead of missiles and stuff. So come join the chaos and see if you can survive the madness!

Caffeine Craze Server

Activity, alertness, Caffeine, cognitive enhancement, CRAZE, findings, Impact, Improvement, Intake, nervousness, neurology, participants, Performance, physiological effects, Psychology, reaction times, research, Server, spain, stimulant, study, Tasks

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Players:	102/300	Votes:	7993
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Gnome Villages Protected:	5	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3
Forgotten Legends Remembered:	3	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	7
Vanishing Structures Built:	4	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	18
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	23	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	6
Mythical Quests Completed:	16	Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	0
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	1	Legendary Scepters Created:	8
Ender Pearl Glitches:	5	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	44

yo, u gotta join dis cray cray minecraft server cuz it’s like drinkin 6 mg/kg of caffeine but without da jitters, u feel me? like, ur reaction times gonna be off da charts, u gonna be buildin and fightin like a pro. plus, u gonna be sooo nervous, alert, and active, u gonna be unstoppable in da game. so come join us and get ur caffeine fix without da side effects, it’s gonna be lit!

Fantasy Isles 1.21.2

1.21.2, alchemy lab, crew directory., Dark Claw Beast Weapon, Extra Drops Campaign, FANTASY, gbf advanced search, gbf grid and teambuilding, granblue fantasy, Granblue Fantasy FES 2024, granblue fantasy toolbox, Grand Raphael, Grand Yatima, Holy Night’s Starring Light outfit, Isles, Negima Collab, New Year’s Special, Orologia summon, Qilin Saint Koku, rise of the beasts, Sandalphon character song Orison, Skyscope Winter Missions, Snake Zodiac Indra, Surprise Ticket, unite & fight, wiki advanced grids, Zodiac Anni Event

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Players:	96/200	Votes:	9228
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Astral Staffs Crafted:	19	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	3
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1	Void Armor Forged:	30
Secret Guilds Joined:	2	Mythical Relics Collected:	20
Holy Grails Found:	4	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	10
Paranormal Events Investigated:	1	Whispering Caves Entered:	7
Evil Lairs Raided:	2	Epic Shields Constructed:	13
Emeralds Found:	6385	Celestial Gardens Planted:	8

Yo, bros and broettes! Have you heard about this lit Minecraft server that’s as wild as a herd of llamas on a rollercoaster? Join us for a crazy time that’s more bonkers than a creeper in a disco!

Imagine a world where you can build your dream castle, ride pigs, and battle zombies with diamond swords. This server is like a virtual paradise for gamers who want to escape reality and dive into a pixelated wonderland.

But wait, there’s more! We’ve got events that are more hype than a Ender Dragon rave, with prizes that will make you scream louder than a ghast. Plus, our community is as friendly as a pack of wolves in a snow biome.

So, what are you waiting for? Join us now and let’s make Minecraft great again! Don’t be a noob, be a pro and conquer the blocky universe with us!

Game Fixer Minecraft SMP

assassins, base, cabinet, Coma, defcon.1, donnie, DONNY, election, Fixer, Fixing Games Part 1, Game, Gangs, johnny gat, Keith David, Kinzie, masked assassin, Matt, Miami, Minecraft, Monica Hughes, Nuke, president, Rally, rival candidates, Saints, saints row 4, secretary of transportation, security compromised, serious moments, Shaundi, showdown, SILAS, smp

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Players:	106/100	Votes:	7044
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	3	Inescapable Mazes Solved:	1
Dragon Eggs Found:	9185	Chimeras Created:	3
Evil Twin Fights:	4	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2
Mythical Quests Completed:	41	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	1
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	4	Magic Crystals Found:	10
Vanishing Structures Built:	4	Magic Wands Crafted:	6
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	2

Welcome to the craziest Minecraft SMP you’ll ever experience! Join us in our wild world where you can become the president of our virtual city, just like in Saints Row 4. Take down rival candidates, recruit your cabinet (with Donnie as the secretary of transportation, of course), and face off against masked assassins sent by your enemies.

But wait, there’s more! As you progress through the game, you’ll uncover shocking secrets and betrayals, like when Shaundi saves you from an assassin only to end up in a coma herself. And just when you think you’ve seen it all, Keith David reveals himself as the mastermind behind it all, kidnapping Kinzie and leading you on a mission to save her.

Gear up, team up with your fellow players, and get ready for an adventure unlike any other. Who knows, maybe you’ll even come face to face with a familiar face under that mysterious mask… Join us now for a Minecraft SMP experience that will leave you laughing, crying, and on the edge of your seat!

ERvisitMinecraftServer

avoiding husband, communication problems, emotional response, ER visit, ERvisitMinecraftServer, feeling disrespected, feeling hurt, feeling ignored, feeling neglected, feeling unappreciated, feeling unimportant, feeling unloved, lack of empathy, lack of support, new apartment, Pain, putting in effort, relationship issues, running errands, tiredness, upset feelings

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Players:	100/500	Votes:	7915
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Pirate Ships Captured:	0	New Chunks Explored:	205156
Dragon Eggs Found:	8856	Chimeras Created:	3
Astral Orbs Gathered:	8	Gnome Villages Protected:	5
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	2	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	3
Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	9	Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	1
Secret Libraries Discovered:	2	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	5
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	7	Dragon Hoards Looted:	1

Looking for a Minecraft server that will cure your real-life drama? Look no further than our server! We promise that joining us will make you forget all about your husband’s tired feet and your mysterious left side pain. Our virtual world is so engaging, you won’t even have time to think about real-life problems.

Join us now and immerse yourself in a world where the only pain you’ll feel is from laughing too hard at our ridiculous in-game shenanigans. Who needs a doctor when you have a pickaxe and a sense of humor? Don’t be upset, be entertained by joining our server today!

GiftTagGateCraft

Boundaries, children, christmas, Christmas traditions, Communication, compromise, Conflict Resolution, Disappointment, family, family dynamics, generational differences, gift giving, gift tags, GiftTagGateCraft, guilt tripping, holiday, long distance, mother-in-law, online shopping, Personalization, Presents

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Players:	94/600	Votes:	4871
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	5	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	8
Demonic Pacts Formed:	1	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	5
Forbidden Relics Collected:	7	Immortal Potions Brewed:	15
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	5
Haunted Mines Explored:	1	Haunted Chests Opened:	4
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	0	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	32
Dimension Hops:	2	Titanic Battles Fought:	24

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we promise you won’t find any sneaky grandmas trying to steal credit for your hard-earned loot! Imagine logging in to find all your diamond armor labeled “from grandma” – the horror! But fear not, on our server, you can rest assured that all your treasures will be rightfully yours, no grandma tags allowed.

Join us for epic battles, hilarious adventures, and a grandma-free gaming experience. Don’t let anyone ruin your Minecraft Christmas – come play with us and keep your loot safe from meddling grannies. Trust us, you won’t regret it!

SlimPickaxe SMP

body image, body positivity, self esteem, SlimPickaxe, smp, social interactions, transformation, weight loss, weight loss challenges, weight loss changes, weight loss community, weight loss confidence, weight loss empowerment, weight loss experiences, weight loss impact, weight loss journey, weight loss mindset, weight loss motivation, weight loss reflections, weight loss success, weight loss support, weight loss transformation

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Players:	101/400	Votes:	1324
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Players Killed by Monsters:	649	Villages Defended:	20
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3	Cozy Campfires Lit:	16
Glitched Entities Encountered:	5	Titan Hearts Harvested:	5
Dragonkin Hatched:	4	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	42
Haunted Forests Traversed:	4	Lunar Scepters Activated:	3
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	38	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	3
Elemental Crystals Collected:	51	Lost Cities Unearthed:	5

OMG guys, you HAVE to join this Minecraft SMP, it’s like, totally lit AF! Like, the other day I was mining for diamonds and I found this secret underground base filled with llamas wearing top hats, like what even is that?! And then I saw a creeper doing the Macarena, like, I can’t even make this stuff up!

But seriously, if you join this SMP, you’ll be treated like royalty, like people will bow down to you and give you all the diamonds you could ever want. It’s like a weight loss program, but for your Minecraft skills. People will be like “OMG, is that the legendary builder from that crazy SMP?!” And you’ll be like “Yeah, that’s me, bow down peasants!”

So come join us on this wild ride of epic proportions, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe the occasional creeper explosion, but who’s counting?) Don’t miss out on the chance to be part of something truly special, where the only rule is to have fun and be as ridiculous as possible. See you in the game, my fellow blockheads!

DreamCraft: Morning Brain Farts

bizarre ideas, Brain, curious mind, DreamCraft, eccentric reflections, farts, morning, morning thoughts, odd musings, offbeat ideas, outlandish musings, peculiar morning thoughts, quirky brainwaves, quirky ponderings, random thoughts, strange thoughts, strange waking thoughts, surreal waking thoughts, unconventional thinking, unique thoughts, unusual reflections, unusual waking thoughts, waking up, weird thoughts

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Players:	107/100	Votes:	9072
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Void Gems Collected:	40	Dragonkin Hatched:	5
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	0	Twisted Realms Survived:	2
Haunted Forests Traversed:	6	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	12
Blood Moons Survived:	0	Legendary Scepters Created:	8
Shattered Realms Restored:	2	Powerful Allies Recruited:	3
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4	Towns Built:	6
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	40	Mythical Relics Collected:	17

Are you tired of waking up with boring thoughts like “What should I have for breakfast?” or “Do I really have to go to work today?” Well, join our Minecraft server and let your imagination run wild with the weirdest thoughts you’ve ever had after waking up!

Picture this: you wake up in a world where pigs can fly, creepers are actually friendly, and diamonds rain from the sky. That’s right, on our server, anything is possible – even riding a llama into battle against a horde of zombie villagers.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that if you build a giant statue of a chicken on top of a mountain, a secret portal to a land of infinite cake will open up. And if you manage to tame a wild wolf and teach it how to do the Macarena, you’ll be granted three wishes by the Minecraft gods.

So why waste your mornings on mundane thoughts when you could be living out your wildest dreams on our server? Join now and let the weirdness begin!

Operation Surgeon Swearers

Accuracy, Behavior, buzz wire, childrens game, Competition, completion rate, concentration, dexterity, hand-eye coordination, hospital staff, medical professionals, Nurses, Operation, Performance, Physicians, research, skill, SPEED, study, Surgeon, Surgeons, Swearers, swearing

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Players:	108/900	Votes:	8758
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Infinity Stones Found:	5	Blood Moons Survived:	2
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	4	Demon Skulls Collected:	32
Glorious Feasts Held:	15	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1
Titanic Relics Retrieved:	4	Fairy Circles Danced In:	4
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	8	Royal Decrees Issued:	2
Cursed Amulets Found:	0	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1
Cursed Lands Purified:	3	Mineshafts Explored:	3

Yo, yo, yo! Welcome to the craziest Minecraft server in the universe! We got surgeons up in here showing off their mad skills like they playing Operation on a kid’s buzzy wire game! Can you believe it? 84% of these surgeons can complete the game in just 5 minutes, beating out all them other hospital peeps like physicians and nurses! And get this, they also swear like sailors while they playing, with 50% of them dropping F-bombs left and right! It’s like a freakin’ circus up in here, so come join the fun and see if you got what it takes to hang with these surgical savages!

Players:	108/1000	Votes:	6136
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	4	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	6
Mimic Chests Discovered:	1	Invisible Pathways Walked:	2
Immortal Potions Brewed:	10	Undead Armies Raised:	5
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	7	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	4
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	5	Falling into the Void:	0
Infinite Doors Opened:	3	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	13
Dragon Scales Harvested:	434	Endless Mazes Conquered:	3