Imagine paying $512 a month to live in a virtual world where your parents dictate your every move. No friends over, no leaving without permission, and a strict 9pm curfew – just like being 15 again, right? But wait, there’s more! You’ll also have to volunteer 6 hours a week to “find yourself and help people” because why not add some extra pressure to your already stressful virtual life?

But fear not, because unlike real life, you can escape this madness by simply logging off. No need to blow up at your virtual parents or worry about being thrown on the virtual streets. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos of our Minecraft server where you can be ungrateful and unkind without any real-life consequences.

So come join us and experience the ultimate virtual parental control simulator! Who needs therapy when you have Minecraft, am I right?