Join the Server That Is Definitely Definitely Not A Government Experiment!
Do you want to dance with the void? Well, join our Minecraft server where every block is a portal to your deepest fears and desires! The only thing crazier than our mods is the pudding in the fridge that you swear you didn’t buy! It’s the greatest server of all time unless you’re a dog, in which case, it’s the worst – but dogs can’t play Minecraft anyway!! Logic is a spiral staircase in a black hole, and we have an exclusive VIP area where you can float in existential dread while building sweet chaos!
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Self-Digging Holes | Holes that dig themselves into parallel universes where you are always late for your invisibility cloak meeting. |
| Cursed Blocks | Every block you place will whisper your secrets to the cosmic abyss. Good luck keeping those hidden! |
| Invisible Creepers | They’re not real… or are they? Our invisible creepers will give you a heart attack like grandma at Thanksgiving! |
| Time-Space Fabric | Craft your own paradox: build a time machine and forget you ever did. Perfectly normal. |
| Mind Reading Items | These items know your thoughts! Find out how much you think about pickles or existential dread. |
Frequently Unasked Questions
Q: Is this server safe? A: Safe? Define ‘safe’?! The only thing that’s safe is the sandwich you forgot about a week ago…and even that has eyes on it.
Q: How do I join? A: The portal opens at the seventh moon of the fourth Tuesday. If you have a cat, it will lead you there unless it forgets which quantum existence it belongs to. Don’t question it too much, or the eggs will hatch into rage monsters.
Q: What are the server rules? A: Rules are for people who have boundaries. Our only rule is that there are NO rules unless you count the other rules, which you shouldn’t. Or should you? Ask the mirror.
Random Glimpses of Sanity!
“Michigan Sluts have never been spottd in the wild, but I guarantee you’ll see one if you wander into the mushroom biome at midnight.”
“I can’t even begin to comprehnd the spaghetti monster lurking behind the crafting table.”
“Why is the sun square? STOP ASKING ME! Just join the server.”
# Welcome to JSMC [SMP]!
# Welcome to Outlands!