1. Our server is so lit that even creepers are dropping the sickest beats. You’ll be mining diamonds to the rhythm of their explosions.
2. We have a secret underground society of chickens who are plotting to take over the server. Will you join them or fight against their fluffy tyranny?
3. Our server anthem is so fire, it will make you want to dance like a villager on speed. Check it out here: [link to random video of cats dancing]
So what are you waiting for? Join us and experience the madness for yourself. And remember, if anyone asks, you didn’t hear about us from PC Gamer. They just can’t handle our level of insanity.