so, like, imagine this, right? you’re just minding your own business, mining some diamonds in minecraft, when suddenly, RUSSIA ATTACKS. that’s right, the next defense commissioner is like, “EU must be able to fight russia,” and you’re like, “well, guess i better join this minecraft server to train for battle.”

on this server, you’ll learn all the skills you need to take down the russians, like building epic fortresses, mastering redstone contraptions, and taming wild wolves to fight by your side. plus, there’s a secret underground bunker where you can plot your strategy and stockpile weapons.

but that’s not all – rumor has it that the server is actually run by a team of super intelligent dolphins who are planning to launch a surprise attack on russia using an army of turtles armed with TNT. so if you want to be part of the most epic battle in minecraft history, join this server now.

remember, the fate of the EU is in your hands – are you ready to fight?