I found GamerHub Towny and it feels like a chill survival place where people build towns and just hang out. The server is new and it started as a streaming server but now it is trying to grow into a bigger community.
It says there are no resets so your builds are meant to stay. Griefing and stealing are not allowed so it is more relaxed and friendly for new players.
There is ingame ranking that uses ingame money. It also has dynmap so you can see the world. You can use player warps and player shops and there is a sell only server shop too.
It also runs jobs and MCMMO. The server usually has a few players on and it gets most active during Twitch streams when it can hit 10 plus online. It supports version 1.21.10 or similar and it also has a Bedrock port.
Chill No Reset Towny SMP

VANILLA WHITELIST SMP WITH FOUR MODES

This is a rework of an older server and it is planned to start in around a month or two.
It is made to have something for everyone with four gamemodes. You can play Anarchy, Creative Freebuild, SMP, and Oneblock.
The big difference is a huge questing system with over 1000 quests at the start so you always have stuff to do. Later on there will be daily quests and weekly quests plus events.
It also says it will be actually free with no microtransactions and no pay to win. There are free crates too and you can get loot for SMP from them.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPDejam SMP Vanilla Chill Build Lore

Dejam SMP is a new vanilla survival server on 1.21.11 and it has some terrain generation mods so exploring feels different.
It is super quiet right now and they are trying to get more active players so the world feels alive.
There is simple voice chat if you want it. The Nether and the End are turned off for now so people do not speedrun and quit early.
The world border is around 4k blocks to keep everyone closer. The owner really wants builders to show up and make towns. They also want players to claim land or islands and start their own countries for lore.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPHardcore Factions Are Back On 1.20+

Craftiverse is a competitive Factions server that is live and built for 1.20+. It is aimed at players who miss old school factions but want it tuned up for newer versions.
The map is a custom made world with big terrain that feels designed for smart base spots and fights out in the open. The server also runs weekly events plus KOTH and other custom challenges where you can win huge loot payouts.
PvP and raiding are the main deal here. Combat is meant to feel clean and the stakes are high so defenses and alliances matter a lot. There is also a balanced economy and the community drama shapes who ends up on top.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPPURE VANILLA SURVIVAL NO SHORTCUTS

I found Total Vanilla and it is just survival with the real vanilla feel. There are no shortcuts and it keeps the game simple.
You will not see teleport commands or home commands. It is mostly about walking out and exploring and building what you want.
The world border is set to 300k and the nether roof is enabled. The server started about one week ago so it still feels new.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPHavenCraft SMP Chill Hermit Style Survival

HavenCraft is a chill survival SMP that feels a lot like Hermit style gameplay where people build big stuff explore and make friends.
The server keeps it fair with no pay to win and it aims for good survival fun instead of chaos. It has proximity voice chat so you can talk when you are near people.
There is a live 3D world map with BlueMap which makes it easy to check out builds and plan where to go. Players can make shops and help grow community build areas.
The gameplay is vanilla plus and the vibe is friendly so you can relax mine or start your own place and just play.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP
