Yo, wanna join dis epic Minecraft server? We got internet speeds so fast, you’ll gain weight just by logging on! According to a totally real study in Australia, our server is so lit that you’ll be packing on the pounds in no time. Plus, our players are all jacked and ready to take on any challenge. So come on down and get ready to level up your BMI while having a blast in our virtual world!

Updated October 16, 2024

Players: 99/200 Uptime: 100%
Rating: 4.9 / 5
Falling into the Void: 0 Blood Moons Survived: 2
Reality Distortions Fixed: 2 Werewolf Howls Heard: 4
Tesseract Cubes Discovered: 1 Secret Passages Found: 6
Cosmic Entities Communed With: 2 Ancient Relics Unearthed: 189
Mines Excavated: 3404 Cursed Taverns Survived: 3

Random Fact: Heartwarming Lore: A player once found a lost puppy that turned out to be a shape-shifting dragon—it now guards their treasure chest.

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