BlockheadAssassin | New Minecraft Servers 2025

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Players:	106/500	Votes:	3729
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Wailing Winds Heard:	4	Meteorite Armor Created:	25
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	3	Mystery Villagers Spotted:	3
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4	Divine Spears Created:	30
Runes Activated:	0	Players Killed by Monsters:	344
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	13	Cursed Taverns Survived:	4
Enchanted Forests Planted:	12	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	0
Legendary Items Repaired:	6	Divine Scrolls Written:	12

New Minecraft Servers

If you answered “griefers,” then you’re absolutely right! And guess what? Our Minecraft server is the ultimate paradise for all the mischievous, trouble-making, block-breaking griefers out there!

Join our server if you want to unleash your inner chaos and wreak havoc on unsuspecting players’ creations. Build a giant statue of a middle finger made entirely out of TNT? Sure, why not! Flood someone’s house with lava just for fun? Go for it! The possibilities for trolling are endless on our server.

But that’s not all – we also have a special “Asshole of the Month” award for the player who causes the most mayhem and destruction. The winner gets a virtual trophy made of diamond blocks and bragging rights for being the biggest jerk on the server.

So if you’re tired of playing nice and following the rules on other servers, come join us and let your inner asshole shine! Just remember, all is fair in love and Minecraft.

Cable Chaos Craft

cable, Cable damage, Chaos, Communication, Craft, diplomatic tensions, foreign affairs, Incident, international relations, investigation, legal action, legal dispute, Maritime, maritime law, naval operations, norway, Russian, SECURITY, Seizes, Ship, Shipping industry, suspected, Technology

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Players:	97/200	Votes:	4953
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Lava Oceans Crossed:	2	Time-Traveling Monkeys Met:	1
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	2	Time-Warping Watches Found:	1
Curse of Binding Applied:	1	Heroic Oaths Sworn:	6
Legendary Items Repaired:	4	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	10
Arcane Towers Raised:	5	Love Letters Sent:	16
Cursed Scrolls Read:	5	Undead Armies Raised:	1
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	2	Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	1

Yo, so like, come join this epic Minecraft server where we got Norway seizing Russian-crewed ships and stuff over suspected cable damage! It’s like a whole new level of PvP action, you gotta watch out for those sneaky Russians trying to mess with our cables, man.

But don’t worry, we got your back with our insane community of players who will have you laughing so hard you’ll forget about all the drama going on in the real world. Plus, we got custom plugins that will blow your mind and make you never want to leave.

So what are you waiting for? Come join the chaos and mayhem on our server, where anything can happen and the only limit is your imagination. Trust us, you won’t regret it. Let’s goooooo!

Magical Ma-Fi Culture

culture, Enchantment, FANTASY, fantasy world, Ma-Fi, MaFi, MAGICAL, magical adventures, magical beings, magical characters, magical culture, magical elements, Magical people, Magical powers, magical realm, magical society, magical stories, Magical-Fiction, mystical beings, sorcery, Supernatural, witches, wizards

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Players:	98/800	Votes:	2645
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	3	Endless Staircases Climbed:	1
Astral Amulets Crafted:	42	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	21
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	5	Heroic Legacies Created:	4
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	0	Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	3
Mythical Quests Completed:	37	Phantom Horses Ridden:	4
Titanic Battles Fought:	11	Vanishing Items Found:	3
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	5	Hidden Villages Discovered:	2

yo, u ever wanted to join a server where the players are actual wizards and witches? well, dis server is da place for u! we got magical people doin’ magical stuff all day long, castin’ spells and brewin’ potions like it’s no big deal.

oh, and get this – some of ’em even got dis thing called “Ma-Fi”, which stands for Magical-Fiction. basically, they can make up crazy stories and make ’em come to life in da game. imagine fightin’ a dragon made out of cheese or ridin’ a unicorn that farts rainbows. it’s wild, man.

so if u wanna be part of dis magical culture and experience all da craziness dat comes with it, join us now! who knows, maybe u’ll discover some hidden powers within u and become da most powerful wizard in all da land. or maybe u’ll just have a good laugh at all da ridiculousness happenin’ around u. either way, it’s gonna be a blast. come join us, u won’t regret it!

LaserCraft AI BreastCheck

ai, AI-powered screening, Artificial Intelligence, Blood Test, breast cancer, BreastCheck, cancer detection, cancer research, diagnostic tool, early detection, early intervention, early stage diagnosis, health technology, healthcare innovation, laser analysis, lasercraft, machine learning, medical advancements, medical breakthrough, medical technology, Precision medicine, screening method

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Players:	99/400	Votes:	8184
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Werewolf Howls Heard:	4	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	7
Secret Libraries Discovered:	2	Mythical Swords Crafted:	64
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	2	Magic Crystals Found:	12
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1	Alien Abductions:	2
Astral Mages Summoned:	1	Ores Mined:	6548
Backwards Speech Heard:	1	Celestial Events Witnessed:	4
Shattered Realms Restored:	2	Dragons Tamed:	0

lolz come join our epic minecraft server where we use AI-powered blood tests to spot early breast cancer signs in ur character!! imagine ur blocky avatar getting a laser analysis and being diagnosed with breast cancer!! it’s like real life but in minecraft!! u can be the first to identify ur character in the earliest stage of breast cancer and save them from virtual death!! join now for a wild ride of medical miracles and pixelated health scares!! #minecraftmedicalsever #savingblockyboobs

Near Vanilla

BUILD, Builds, close-knit, collect, Competitions, Cooperative, Environment, Events, Experience, Explore, Friends, Fun, Minecraft, Play styles, Players, Server, shopping districts, smp, Vanilla

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Players:	96/1000	Votes:	1535
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Cursed Diamonds Mined:	7	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	4
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	32	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	0
Phantom Ships Sailed:	4	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	10
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3	Legendary Heroes Trained:	1
Dragon Hoards Looted:	2	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	3
Ghost Trains Ridden:	0	Royal Courts Attended:	1
Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	1	Paranormal Events Investigated:	1

Near Vanilla Server Overview

IP	play.nearvanilla.com
Website	https://nearvanilla.com
Server Guide	Our Notion Page
Map	https://map.nearvanilla.com
Season 5 Recap Video	https://youtu.be/SoJU47pZojY
Screenshots	https://imgur.com/a/CQtZzgE

Requirements:

18+ only
Mature and Respectful

Zero Tolerance Policy:

No hacking, glitching, or duping allowed. Any of these will result in a permanent ban. No griefing, stealing, bullying, insulting, discrimination, or prejudice behavior is tolerated. Toxic behavior is not welcome. Chat will be moderated by our server staff.

The “Near” in “Near Vanilla”

Deathlog: Lets you know where you died
WanderfulAdditions*: control armor stands and make item frames invisible
Kickafk: Kicks players who afk more than 3 hours
Custom plugins created for our server. See the full list of plugins in our FAQ on the Discord
A few Admin tools to help mods keep things friendly and welcoming Players can suggest Non-Vanilla additions if they do not remove from the vanilla experience which will be discussed on our Discord.

To apply through Discord, click the link here.

FAQ

Question	Answer
Is Near Vanilla a cooperative server?	Yes, Near Vanilla encourages cooperative building and play styles.
Is griefing allowed on the server?	No, griefing, stealing, and other toxic behaviors are not tolerated.
Are there age restrictions to join the server?	Yes, players must be 18+ to join Near Vanilla.
Can players suggest Non-Vanilla additions to the server?	Yes, suggestions for Non-Vanilla additions can be discussed on the Discord server.

Voxel Update – Daily Source 1.21.4

1.21.4, Amanogawa Shiina, CHAO5CHOOL, chuuba world, Daily, Dexter, FanFans Cafe, HoloExpo, holofes, hololive, Hololive Gamers, Inislein, Kitashirakawa Kakapo, NijiFES, Nijisanji, Odette Mori, Ophelia Briar, Peter Boxy, phase connect, Pipkin Pippa, Sayu Sincro, Socks Vtubing Agency, source, Specialite., update, Voxel, vshojo, Vtuber News

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Players:	103/1000	Votes:	3597
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	5	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5
Legendary Scepters Created:	5	Cursed Amulets Found:	3
Enchanted Armories Found:	4	Wailing Winds Heard:	3
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	5	Reality Warps Survived:	2
Epic Bosses Defeated:	5	Dark Rituals Completed:	3
Enchanted Forests Planted:	7	Demonic Pacts Formed:	3
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	7	Corrupted Trees Chopped:	1

Yo, welcome to this cray cray Minecraft server where we spill all the tea on the chuuba world! We got Hololive exclusives dropping like hot potatoes, like a new server launching 2/3. Plus, Omaru Polka droppin’ an MV for her bday on 1/30, and Gawr Gura servin’ looks in a new outfit.

But wait, there’s more! Hakos Baelz covering “Weight of the World”, Holo indie droppin’ a horror game, and Hoshimachi Suisei on NHK’s “Music Line” radio show. We even got energy drinks, collabs, and new outfits galore!

Join this server if you wanna stay woke on all the chuuba happenings and be part of the madness. Don’t miss out, or you’ll be more lost than a chicken in a minefield. Let’s get this bread, gamers!

NoKidsNoCreepers

after school, ANNOYED, Boundaries, Communication, different opinions, distractions, family dynamics, high school, house rules, INDEPENDENCE, legal custody, niece and nephew, NoKidsNoCreepers, OFFENDED, parenting, RESPONSIBILITY, Routine, Safety, supervision, unsupervised

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Players:	99/1000	Votes:	5921
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Rune Stones Activated:	9	Undead Armies Raised:	1
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Chimeras Created:	1
Runes Activated:	6	Mythical Relics Collected:	14
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	1	Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1
Astral Orbs Gathered:	17	Lunar Scepters Activated:	11
Emeralds Found:	9819	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	4
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	132	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	5

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where we value independence and responsibility! Join us for some epic adventures and crazy builds, but beware of unsupervised kids causing chaos in our virtual world.

Looking for a server where kids can roam freely and learn valuable life lessons? Look no further! Our server is the perfect place for your child to gain independence and grow into a responsible player.

But wait, there’s more! We have a strict no-unsupervised-kids policy, just like in real life. Say goodbye to friends causing mayhem and hello to a safe and structured gaming environment.

Join now and experience the thrill of Minecraft like never before. Just make sure your niece and nephew don’t sneak in when you’re not looking – those little troublemakers are always up to no good!

PhonelessGamer Minecraft SMP

10. Wasting time on phones, 11. Pointless phone activities, 12. Phone dependency, 13. FOMO on social media, 14. Constant phone checking, 15. Incessant phone notifications, 16. Time-wasting apps, 17. Unproductive phone use, 18. Virtual reality disconnect, 19. Lack of real-life interactions, 2. Social media obsession, 20. Detrimental effects of excessive phone use., 3. Excessive screen time, 4. Mindless scrolling, 5. Digital distractions, 6. Smartphone addiction, 7. Technology overuse, 8. Mobile phone habits, 9. Unnecessary phone usage, Minecraft, phone addiction, PhonelessGamer, smp

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Players:	104/900	Votes:	9068
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	1	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	0
Epic Shields Constructed:	19	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	6
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	1	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	5
Chaos Gates Opened:	3	Wyrmholes Dug:	7
Divine Spears Created:	20	Holy Grails Found:	4
Forbidden Doors Opened:	1	Legendary Scepters Created:	7
Phantom Rings Equipped:	12	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	7

OMG GUYS, you gotta join this epic Minecraft SMP! It’s like the coolest server ever, like seriously bro. We got llamas that can fly and pigs that wear top hats, it’s wild! And the best part is, our diamonds are actually made of chocolate so you can eat them while you mine.

But wait, there’s more! We have a secret underground disco party every Saturday night where all the mobs come to dance. And our PvP arena is actually a giant trampoline so you can bounce around while you fight. Plus, our admins are all trained ninjas so they can help you out if you get stuck in a tree or something.

So like, why use your phone for boring stuff when you could be joining this totally rad Minecraft SMP? Trust me, it’s gonna be lit AF.

CraftyCreeperz

categorization Dichotomous, characteristics Social commentary, comparison Quirky, comparisons Humorous, CraftyCreeperz, differences Binary, funny Opposites, humor Categorization, humor Contrasts, humor Dichotomous, humor Funny, humor Observations, humor Stereotypes, individuals Personalities, observations Generalizations, outlook Dichotomies, personalities Humor, Perspectives, perspectives Satire, perspectives Satirical, stereotypes Dichotomy, Two kinds of people

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Players:	92/600	Votes:	1628
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Enchanted Forests Planted:	11	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	18	Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	3
Soul Swords Wielded:	3	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1
Royal Decrees Issued:	3	Eternal Flames Captured:	8
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	48	Crystal Wands Charged:	15
Falling into the Void:	1	Spectral Entities Defeated:	5
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	2	Reality Distortions Fixed:	2

Are you the kind of person who builds majestic castles with secret underground lairs, or are you the kind of person who creates elaborate traps to prank unsuspecting players? Well, on our Minecraft server, there are two kinds of people: those who dare to join and those who miss out on all the epic adventures!

Join us if you want to ride on the backs of flying pigs while battling zombie chickens armed with diamond swords. Or maybe you prefer to challenge the server owner to a dance-off in the middle of a lava pit – anything goes on our crazy server!

So, what are you waiting for? Join now and become part of a community where the only limit is your imagination…and maybe the occasional creeper explosion.

CraftyCanuckz

Canada, Canadian economy, CraftyCanuckz, diplomatic relations, economic impact, Economy, foreign policy, global trade, Government, international relations, justin trudeau, North America, Politics, protectionism, response, Tariffs, tough times, trade agreements, trade war, trudeau, Warning

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Players:	110/100	Votes:	2503
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Cursed Amulets Found:	1	Eclipse Rings Activated:	4
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	2	Votes:	2930
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	2	Blood Moons Survived:	3
Dragon Eggs Found:	2712	Living Shadows Defeated:	1
Glitched Entities Encountered:	4	Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	26
Epic Weapons Forged:	10	Astral Orbs Gathered:	10
Legendary Scepters Created:	6	Potions Brewed:	105

so, like, this server is the bomb diggity, bro. like, we got so much cool stuff goin’ on, you won’t even believe it. like, we got pigs flyin’ around, bro. not even kiddin’. and the creepers? oh man, they do the macarena before they blow up. it’s hilarious.

and, like, if you join this server, you’ll be protected from tariffs. yeah, you heard me right. no tariffs in this server, bro. trudeau himself said so. so, like, come join us and live the high life without worryin’ ’bout tough times. it’s gonna be a blast, bro. trust me.

JokeCraft: Laughter is Contagious

comedian, comedy, Contagious, Entertainment, funny, humor, humor writing, Humorist, humorist life, humorist musings, humorist quotes, humorist sayings, JOKE, JokeCraft, Laughter, one liner, pun, sarcasm, satire, stand up, WIT

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Players:	97/100	Votes:	6007
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Epic Weapons Forged:	6	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3
Mythical Quests Completed:	38	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	26
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	5	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	13
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	45	Starry Nights Enjoyed:	25
Soul Swords Wielded:	2	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Twisted Realms Survived:	3	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	3
Epic Battles Fought:	13	Lost Cities Unearthed:	2

hey u, ya u, r u tired of boring old minecraft servers? well do i have the place for u! our server is so crazy, it makes herobrine look like a cuddly kitten! we have flying pigs, talking cows, and dancing creepers! u never know what u’ll find around the corner!

join us and u can ride a llama into battle, build a house out of diamonds, and even have a pet dragon! our server is so wild, even the ender dragon is scared to come near us!

come join the fun and see why everyone is talking about our server! but be warned, once u join, u may never want to leave! so what are u waiting for? come join us now and let the madness begin!

Depressed Blocks: Hot Climate Edition

blocks, climate, climate action, climate change, climate crisis, climate science, Depressed, depression risk, depressive symptoms, Edition, environmental impact, global warming, hot, mental health, mental health awareness, mental illness, psychological effects, public health, research, rising temperatures, study, temperature increase, young adults

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Players:	99/900	Votes:	4317
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	13	Cosmic Pies Baked:	2
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	1
Corrupted Chunks Fixed:	2	Void Gems Collected:	14
Godly Talismans Bestowed:	7	Invisible Pathways Walked:	3
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	3	World-Altering Spells Cast:	0
Secret Passages Found:	4	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	3
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Wyrmholes Dug:	8

are you feeling down in the dumps? well, have we got the server for you! our minecraft server is so hot right now, it’ll make you forget all about your depression. with every 1°C increase in temperature, your chances of feeling sad decrease by 13%. that’s right, we’ve got the cure for the blues and it’s called our server.

join us and watch as your worries melt away like snow in the summer. our community is so warm and welcoming, you’ll feel like you’re basking in the glow of a thousand suns. and for adults between 19 and 40, the effects are even more amazing. your chances of feeling down decrease by a whopping 14%.

so come on over to our server and let the rising temperatures lift your spirits. who needs therapy when you’ve got minecraft? join us now and say goodbye to depression forever!

Banana Sandwich

#addons, 1.21.4, armor stand, banana, collaboration, Community, Diamond, Discord, Economy, Events, Invisible item frames, Minecraft, Minigames, player heads, sandwich, Server, smp, Vanilla, voice chat, Whitelisted

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Players:	96/900	Votes:	1880
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	1	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	11
Farms Harvested:	771	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	1
World-Altering Spells Cast:	0	Volcanoes Explored:	1
Rainbows Spotted:	4	Cursed Statues Activated:	3
Magical Ponies Rescued:	3	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	2
Phoenix Feathers Found:	9	Cursed Lands Purified:	3
Meteorites Collected:	3	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	0

🌴 Server Highlights:	Running the latest Minecraft 1.21.4 with carefully selected quality-of-life addons
	Organic diamond-based economy that rewards creativity and effort
	Active, mature community (mostly early 20s) that loves to collaborate and chat
	Proximity Voice Chat: Fun and interactive community

🛠️ Quality-of-Life Features:	Player heads for unique decorating
	Armor stand editor for creative displays
	Invisible item frames for clean builds

🤝 Community Focus:	Regular community events and minigames
	Helpful, welcoming players who love to collaborate
	Drama-free environment with simple, common-sense rules
	Voice chat hangouts that will get even better with proximity chat!

👋 Ready to Join? Connect with Plooop on Discord or join our server: https://discord.gg/J6tNPBVKq4

Whether you’re a seasoned builder or just starting out, you’ll find your place here. Come be part of our story and experience the future of SMP gameplay with our upcoming proximity chat!

Note: Server is whitelisted to maintain our amazing community vibes 📝

Forgotten Realms 1.20.3

1.20.3, Forgotten, forgotten discussions, ignored subjects, marginalized topics, neglected conversations, overlooked issues, rarely highlighted issues, rarely mentioned matters, Realms, seldom addressed subjects, unacknowledged matters, underdiscussed topics, underrepresented viewpoints, undervalued themes, unheard perspectives, unspoken concerns

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Players:	107/1000	Votes:	9181
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Ancient Guardians Awoken:	1	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	8	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3
Cursed Amulets Found:	3	Astral Mages Summoned:	3
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Alternate Realities Explored:	5
Dragonfire Shields Forged:	2	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0
Sunfire Helmets Forged:	10	Goblin Markets Raided:	7
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	9	Cosmic Pies Baked:	8

Yo, bro, you gotta join this Minecraft server, it’s like a virtual party on steroids! We got more diamonds than a rapper’s grill and more creepers than a haunted house on Halloween night.

I’m telling you, this server is the bomb dot com, like seriously, it’s so lit that even the Ender Dragon is shaking in its boots.

And get this, our PvP battles are more intense than a rap battle between Eminem and Machine Gun Kelly. You’ll be slaying zombies and building epic structures like a boss in no time.

Plus, our community is tighter than a pair of skinny jeans on a sumo wrestler. You’ll make friends faster than you can say “creeper, oh man”.

So what are you waiting for? Join now and experience the Minecraft server of your wildest dreams. Trust me, you won’t regret it… unless you’re a noob, then you might regret it a little bit.

WeddingCraft: Greedy&Rude

budgeting, Communication, compromise, Cultural differences, Decision making, emotional stress, family dynamics, family expectations, financial responsibility, Financial Stability, future planning, GreedyRude, guest list, Prioritizing, relationship dynamics, venue selection, wedding budget, wedding etiquette, wedding expenses, wedding planning, wedding traditions, WeddingCraft

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Players:	94/200	Votes:	4550
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Cursed Diamonds Mined:	2	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	3
Endless Night Skies:	4	Demonic Pacts Formed:	2
Bizarre Potions Brewed:	18	Gryphons Tamed:	3
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Titanic Relics Retrieved:	2
Inverted Worlds Discovered:	0	Runes Activated:	6
Secret Guilds Joined:	4	Mythical Quests Completed:	47
Eternal Flames Captured:	5	Cursed Villages Purged:	4

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no drama? Well, look no further! Join our server for a wedding-themed adventure like no other!

Picture this: you’re a wealthy bride-to-be, planning your dream wedding with a budget of $120K. But wait, there’s a twist! Your fiancé accuses you of being greedy and rude for wanting to save some of the money for future children. Drama, tears, and accusations fly as you navigate through the stress of wedding planning.

Choose from unique wedding venues like an old library that only seats 180 guests, or a grand European destination that will blow your budget sky-high. Will you stick to your fiscally responsible ways, or give in to your fiancé’s lavish dreams of a big, extravagant wedding?

Join now for a wedding experience that will have you questioning your decisions and wondering if you’re the AH in this crazy Minecraft world!

SexySteveMinecraftSMP

Alluring, APPEAL, attractive, body image, Charm, Confidence, desirability, empowerment, inner beauty, Masculinity, Men, seductive, self esteem, self love, self worth, self-acceptance, self-assured, self-perception, Sexy, SexySteveMinecraftSMP, validation

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Players:	93/800	Votes:	1380
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	2	Cursed Scrolls Read:	5
Holy Grails Found:	5	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	8
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	4	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1
Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	3	Lost Souls Rescued:	5
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	3	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	70
Cursed Taverns Survived:	1	Lava Oceans Crossed:	1
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	3	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	2

Yo yo yo, listen up my fellow gamers! Are you tired of feeling like a potato in real life? Well, do I have the solution for you! Join our epic Minecraft SMP where you can feel sexy and attractive 24/7!

Picture this: you log on to the server and BAM, you’re suddenly the hottest player around. All the mobs are swooning over you, the villagers are throwing diamonds at your feet, and even the Ender Dragon is like “dayum, you fine!”

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that if you join our SMP, you’ll gain superhuman strength, the ability to fly like a majestic eagle, and a never-ending stash of enchanted golden apples. Plus, there’s a secret underground club where all the cool kids hang out and party like there’s no tomorrow.

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP now and unleash your inner sexy beast! Trust me, your pixelated avatar will thank you later. Let’s get this bread, gamers!