1. Our server has a secret underground disco where all the mobs go to party after a long day of being killed by players. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a creeper busting out some sick dance moves!

2. We have a pet llama named Larry who is rumored to be able to speak in ancient llama languages. He’s the life of the party and always has the best gossip to share.

3. Our server is home to the legendary Chicken King, a chicken who wears a crown and rules over all the other animals with an iron beak. Rumor has it he can lay golden eggs that grant wishes.

4. We have a floating island made entirely of cheese where players can go to relax and eat their fill of delicious dairy goodness. Just watch out for the cheese dragons that guard the island!

So come join our wacky Minecraft SMP and experience the madness for yourself. Who knows, you might even discover the answer to life’s most pressing question: How can women be whores and not be disgusted by themselves? (Hint: it involves a lot of diamond armor and enchanted pickaxes)