my shit ain’t parallel Minecraft SMP | New Minecraft Servers 2025

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Players:	97/1000	Votes:	6105
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	2	Ender Pearl Glitches:	5
Magic Crystals Found:	5	Epic Shields Constructed:	37
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	11	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	1
Wailing Winds Heard:	3	Eldritch Scrolls Read:	6
Shadow Realms Conquered:	2	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	1
Mystical Amulets Crafted:	20	Meteorite Armor Created:	26
Cursed Swords Broken:	1	Whispering Caves Entered:	4

New Minecraft Servers

Welcome to the most chaotic Minecraft SMP you’ll ever encounter! Our server is so wild that even the blocks can’t stay in line, they’re all over the place like a bunch of drunk villagers on a Saturday night.

Join us if you want to experience the thrill of trying to build a house with walls that are more crooked than a witch’s nose. And don’t even get me started on the mobs – they’re so confused by the wonky terrain that they end up walking in circles like lost sheep.

But hey, if you’re looking for a challenge and a good laugh, then this is the place for you. Just be prepared to have your mind blown by the sheer absurdity of it all. So come on in, grab your pickaxe, and let’s get this party started!

Kronii’s Dream Realm 1.20.1

1.20.1, amazement, Before and after, CHANGE, comparison, disbelief, dream, Evolution, growth, Imagine, Journey, Kronii, Kroniis, milestone, progress, reaction, Realm, Reflection, Showing, Surprise, time travel, transformation, two years ago, Vtuber

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Players:	107/1000	Votes:	9249
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Dragon Eggs Hatched:	2	Divine Scrolls Written:	8
Godly Talismans Bestowed:	13	Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1
Demon Skulls Collected:	30	Magic Items Found:	2793
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	6	Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	7
Ghost Trains Ridden:	0	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	11
Blood Moons Survived:	1	Magical Moments Shared:	22
Forbidden Doors Opened:	2	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2

Yo, bro, you gotta join this Minecraft server, it’s like a magical land of unicorns and rainbows! But not really, it’s more like a chaotic circus run by deranged clowns who are actually pretty cool once you get to know them.

You’ll be mining diamonds while dodging flying pigs and riding llamas into battle against evil chickens. It’s like a fever dream mixed with a rave party, but with creepers instead of glow sticks.

And get this, the admins are like wizards who can make your wildest dreams come true, as long as your wildest dream involves building a giant statue of a potato.

So come on, join us on this wild ride through a pixelated wonderland where the only rule is to have fun and never take anything too seriously. Trust me, you won’t regret it…probably.

CyberCraft – Minecraft SMP Adventure Time

Adventure, cybercraft, CYOA Choose Your Own Adventure Refugee Thread /cyoar/ /tg/ /cyoag/ F.A.Q. Allsync archive NSFW Interactives Authors Desuarchive Trash 4chan Rolling Random.org Dice Fate Postnumbers Build, Minecraft, smp, Time

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Players:	96/600	Votes:	8818
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Cursed Scrolls Read:	5	Mines Excavated:	4080
Dragon Eggs Found:	5031	Infinity Stones Found:	6
Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2	Dragons Tamed:	2
Shattered Realms Restored:	2	Cursed Amulets Found:	2
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	3	Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	1
Forbidden Tomes Read:	3	Dragon Eggs Found:	9092
Spontaneous Duels Fought:	6	Mystic Runes Engraved:	5

Welcome to the most chaotic and unpredictable Minecraft SMP server you’ll ever encounter! This server is like no other, filled with crazy CYOAs that will make your head spin faster than a creeper explosion.

Join us if you dare, as we navigate through threads filled with refugees from other realms, seeking shelter in our land of madness. Previous threads have been lost to the depths of the internet, but fear not, for we have alternative links ready to transport you to a world of endless possibilities.

Our archives are bursting at the seams with SFW and NSFW CYOAs, ready to challenge your creativity and test your luck. Roll the dice, spin the wheel, and see where fate takes you on this wild ride.

So why join this Minecraft SMP, you ask? Well, where else can you find a community of players who thrive on chaos and thrive on the unexpected? Where else can you find a place where post numbers are not for rolling, but for shaping your destiny in ways you never thought possible?

So come on, grab your pickaxe and your sense of adventure, and join us in this realm of madness and mayhem. Who knows what awaits you on this crazy journey? Only one way to find out – join us now!

CraftyCrushes

Assertiveness, attraction, Body language, Charm, compliments, Confidence, CraftyCrushes, dressing well, emotional connection, eye contact, FLIRTING, intelligence, listening skills, Mystery, Passion, physical touch, scent, seduction, sense of humor, turns on, Vulnerability

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Players:	110/500	Votes:	2621
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	17	Celestial Dragons Tamed:	3
Eclipse Rings Activated:	1	Phantom Rings Equipped:	25
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	70	Crops Grown:	6736
Potions Brewed:	126	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	1
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	7	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	6
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	11

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old gameplay? Well, look no further because our server is here to spice things up in ways you never thought possible!

Join our server and get turned on by the thrill of surviving in a world where the creepers are actually friendly and give you hugs instead of blowing you up. Trust us, it’s a real turn on.

But that’s not all! Our server is home to the legendary Blocky Cupid, who shoots heart-shaped arrows at players to make them fall in love with each other. Who needs Tinder when you have a Minecraft server playing matchmaker?

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that will turn you on in ways you never thought possible, join us today and prepare for a wild ride of love, hugs, and maybe even a little bit of TNT.

PrisonCraft Minecraft Server

Conflict, eastern europe, executions, Geneva Conventions, geopolitical tensions, human rights violations, international law, military aggression, Minecraft, political tensions, PrisonCraft, prisoner abuse, prisoners of war, russia, russian military, Server, Ukraine, Ukrainian conflict, war atrocities, War Crimes, war crimes tribunal, War prisoners, war prisoners’ rights

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Players:	97/500	Votes:	1440
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	5	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Talking Trees Consulted:	6	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	10
Arcane Towers Raised:	2	World-Altering Spells Cast:	2
Haunted Mines Explored:	1	Pirate Ships Captured:	2
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	5
Cozy Campfires Lit:	13	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4
Titan Hearts Harvested:	2	Chaos Gates Opened:	3

Come join our Minecraft server, where we have more explosions than a Russian-Ukrainian conflict! Watch out for those pesky creepers, they’re like the Ukrainian prisoners of war trying to escape! But don’t worry, we have plenty of TNT to keep things interesting. Join now for a wild ride that will make you say “da” to fun!

DniproBridgeWars

battle, bridgeheads, Conflict, defeated, Defense, Dnipro River, DniproBridgeWars, eastern europe, Geopolitics, international relations, Invasion, Kherson Region, Military, right bank, russia, Russian invaders, Russian troops, strategy, Ukraine, Ukrainian colonel, WARFARE

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Players:	108/300	Votes:	6764
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2	Mythical Quests Completed:	39
Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	2	Cursed Taverns Survived:	2
Royal Courts Attended:	1	Runes Activated:	8
Corrupted Trees Chopped:	4	Secret Libraries Discovered:	2
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2	Ender Pearl Glitches:	4
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	11	Blood Moons Survived:	3
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	33	Battle Standards Raised:	10

come join our epic minecraft server where russian troops are trying to cross the dnipro river but keep getting defeated by ukrainian colonel players! build your own bridgeheads and defend them from the invaders in the kherson region! will you be a brave ukrainian warrior or a sneaky russian spy? the choice is yours on this intense and hilarious server! join now for non-stop action and chaos!

Cocaine Cats & Dogs Server

animal health, animal poisoning, Cats, cocaine, cocaine exposure, data analysis, Dogs, drug abuse, drug exposure, drug ingestion, drug trends, methamphetamine exposure, Pet Poison Helpline, Pets, research, Server, substance abuse, toxicology, trends, US, veterinary care, veterinary medicine

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Players:	101/700	Votes:	7319
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	5	Cursed Statues Activated:	3
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	41	Elemental Temples Cleansed:	3
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	1	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Lava Oceans Crossed:	1	Cursed Lands Purified:	7
Divine Relics Bestowed:	12	Votes:	4146
Glitched Entities Encountered:	0	Gorgon Shields Crafted:	3
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	162	Magical Familiars Summoned:	3

come join our epic minecraft server where dogs and cats are partying hard with cocaine! forget about boring old servers, here you can witness animals getting lit AF and living their best lives.

we’ve got cats snorting lines like there’s no tomorrow and dogs doing backflips off of trees after a bump of coke. it’s a wild party 24/7 on our server, you won’t find this kind of excitement anywhere else.

so if you want to see some high animals and have a crazy time, join our server now! who needs meth when you’ve got cocaine-fueled pets running around? let the good times roll!

Apricity SMP

Active players, Adventure, Apricity, Bosses, building mods, Community, Creative, Discord, Experience, Exploration, foods, Fun, Furniture, Gaming, Join, multiplayer, new, Roleplay, Server, smp, Survival, visual enhancing

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Players:	107/1000	Votes:	9053
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	5	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Living Statues Befriended:	1	Holy Grails Found:	1
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	3	Starry Nights Enjoyed:	30
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	10	Rune Stones Activated:	12
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	1	Dragonfire Shields Forged:	10
Elemental Temples Cleansed:	4	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	7
Enchantments Applied:	241	Infinite Doors Opened:	1

Minecraft Modded SMP Overview

Server Name	Modded SMP
Number of Spots	7
Mods	Visual enhancing Exploration/bosses More foods More furniture and building mods

FAQ

Q: How do I join the server?

A: Fill out this form to express your interest. We will let you know once we have filled all spots.

Q: When will the server start?

A: We plan to start the server as soon as we fill all 7 spots with active players.

Mystic Pixel Realm 1.21.4

1.21.4, Avatar, Based, Characters, cocksucker, Community, controversy, Digital, Gaming, Identity, LGBTQ, marketplace, mystic, offensive, ONLINE, PIXEL, Realm, sales event, steam sales, Stereotypes, Transgender, trapfucker, troon, virtual

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Players:	102/400	Votes:	2454
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Astral Staffs Crafted:	17	Vanishing Items Found:	5
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	38	Falling into the Void:	0
Enchanted Armories Found:	10	Epic Bosses Defeated:	3
Zombie Dances:	10	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Invisible Walls Found:	3	Starry Nights Enjoyed:	14
Meteor Showers Witnessed:	2	Warlock Amulets Crafted:	13
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	5	Dragon Hoards Looted:	1

Join our Minecraft server for a wild ride of chaos and madness!

We’ve got more memes than a confused cat on a keyboard!

Experience the thrill of building your own virtual world while questioning the very fabric of reality!

Unleash your inner shizo crazy 4chan anon and let loose on our server!

Who needs rational writing styles when you can embrace the chaos and confusion?

Don’t miss out on the chance to regret reading our lolzy description!

Join now and discover why the steam sales avatar is a troon in our world of outrageousness!

””she’s uhhhh really good at wrestling” Minecraft SMP”

#youtube, agility, Athletic, Competition, female empowerment, female wrestler, Good, Impressive.., inspiring, Minecraft, Performance, really good, shes, Skilled, smp, sports, strength, TALENTED, Technique, Uhhhh.., Video, viral video, wow, wrestling

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Players:	96/800	Votes:	7509
Rating:	4.5 / 5
World-Altering Spells Cast:	0	Orbs of Power Found:	9
Mystical Amulets Crafted:	36	Secret Passages Found:	3
Ethereal Dreams Experienced:	6	Void Gems Collected:	25
Cursed Villages Purged:	4	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	10
Zombie Dances:	9	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	4
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	3	Dragon Eggs Hatched:	1
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	2	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	3

Hey there fellow gamers! Are you ready to join the most epic Minecraft SMP ever created? Well, let me tell you why you should join our server!

First of all, we have a player who is a wrestling champion in real life. That’s right, she can take down creepers and zombies with just one suplex! You don’t want to mess with her in-game or in the ring.

But that’s not all! We also have a secret underground base filled with diamonds, emeralds, and… wait for it… enchanted golden carrots! Rumor has it that if you find the hidden entrance, you’ll be granted three wishes by a magical chicken named Cluckington.

And if you’re lucky, you might even stumble upon our pet dragon, Fluffy. He loves to fly around the server and roast unsuspecting players with his fiery breath. Just make sure to bring some marshmallows for a tasty snack!

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft SMP today and experience the wildest adventures, the craziest battles, and the most absurd shenanigans you’ve ever seen. Trust me, you won’t regret it!

RoboRampage Minecraft Server

Advanced weaponry, Artificial Intelligence, assault force, Automation, battle, Defense, drone warfare, future warfare, Futuristic technology, innovation, mechanized warfare, Military, military robots, military tactics, Minecraft, RoboRampage, ROBOT, robotics, Server, Technology, Ukraine, unmanned vehicles, Victory

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Players:	110/300	Votes:	7580
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Ghost Trains Ridden:	2	Volcanoes Explored:	2
Magic Crystals Found:	23	Whispering Shadows Heard:	4
Ancient Ruins Explored:	1	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	3
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	2	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	12
Titanic Battles Fought:	10	Heroic Legacies Created:	1
Magical Frogs Kissed:	1	Demonic Pacts Formed:	0
Eclipse Rings Activated:	1	Cozy Campfires Lit:	18

Yo, have you heard about this cray cray Minecraft server where Ukraine’s first all-robot assault force just won its first battle? yea, you heard me right, ROBOTS taking over Minecraft and dominating the battlefield.

Join this server if you wanna witness epic battles between robots and players, it’s like Terminator meets Minecraft, but with more explosions and less Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Imagine riding a robot unicorn while shooting laser beams at your enemies, that’s the kind of madness you can expect on this server. Plus, rumor has it that there’s a secret underground base where the robots throw wild parties every night.

So, if you’re ready to experience the ultimate Minecraft showdown and party with robots, then join this server now. Don’t miss out on the craziest adventure of your Minecraft life!

ProxyCraft: DumbfoundedIsrael

airstrikes, Conflict, Defense, Diplomacy, DumbfoundedIsrael, escalation, foreign policy, Geopolitical, intelligence, international relations, Investment, iran, Israeli strikes, MIDDLE EAST, Military, nuclear program, proxies, ProxyCraft, regional stability, RETALIATION, SECURITY, Tensions

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Players:	103/700	Votes:	7009
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Hidden Passages Discovered:	2	Cosmic Hamsters Found:	5
Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	10	Forbidden Doors Opened:	1
Mines Excavated:	4557	Time-Warping Watches Found:	3
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	3	Magical Moments Shared:	12
Meteorites Collected:	3	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	25
Sentient Weapons Trained:	3	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	15
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3

hey u! ya u! r u bored of boring old minecraft servers? well do i have the server for u! this server is so lit, even iran is dumbfounded by it! they saw all their investment in proxies go down the tubes cuz they couldn’t resist joining our server!

join us for epic battles, crazy adventures, and a community that will have u laughing till u pee ur pants! we have so many cool features like flying pigs, talking chickens, and a secret underground base where u can find the rarest loot in the game!

so what r u waiting for? come join us and see why everyone is talking about the best minecraft server ever! trust me, u won’t regret it! #minecraftgoals #iranisshook #bestserverever

Lithium Brine Busters

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Players:	109/900	Votes:	5241
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Mysterious Portals Opened:	20	Players Killed by Monsters:	9361
World-Altering Spells Cast:	2	Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	1
Ancient Ruins Explored:	1	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	1
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	8	Time-Warping Watches Found:	3
Mythical Relics Collected:	19	Crystal Palaces Visited:	1
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	4	Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	62
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	0	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3

Yo, yo, yo! Wanna join our lit Minecraft server where we extract lithium from low-quality brines? Yeah, you heard that right! We’re not just building houses and stuff, we’re out here mining for that sweet, sweet lithium like it’s nobody’s business.

Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. One time, our player found a brine pool so low-quality, it was practically begging to be extracted for lithium. And guess what? They struck gold… I mean, lithium! They became the richest player on the server, rolling in diamonds and emeralds like there’s no tomorrow.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Brine Monster, a creature so salty it’ll make you laugh until you cry. Rumor has it, if you can defeat the Brine Monster, you’ll be granted unlimited resources for the rest of your Minecraft days.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and let’s get that lithium flowing! Who knows, you might just become the next Brine Monster slayer.

🕰️🌐 [1.5.2] RuLamp || Retro Minecraft server 🌐🕰️ Minecraft server

1.5.2, anniversary, bugs, Cheating, Cities, Civilization, Content Creation, Countries, Discord, Donations, dynamic map, Fair Play, grif, Minecraft, nostalgic, old school, private access, Retro, RuLamp, Server, Settlements, Survival, white list

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Players:	91/1000	Votes:	9551
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	1	Paranormal Events Investigated:	5
Cursed Taverns Survived:	2	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	0
Invisible Pathways Walked:	3	Alternate Realities Explored:	2
Magical Ponies Rescued:	5	Phoenix Feathers Found:	14
Endless Night Skies:	3	Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	3
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	3	Vanishing Structures Built:	5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2	Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	9

[1.5.2] RuLamp is a nostalgic server for lamp and old-school survival.

Your world – your rules, your civilization!In order to start playing, you need to join discord and write an application in order to get on the white list.

Players themselves create the rules on the server. However, there are basic rules on the server that must be followed on the server:

• Cheating and bug use are prohibited.

• Grif is also prohibited on the server.

• There is a dynamic map on the server.

• Complete absence of donations on the server, which ensures fair play.

• Players themselves create content for an interesting pastime on the server

• Players build their own settlements, cities and countries in which they live and develop together.

• Only chests have private access to the server, which gives you confidence that you will not be robbed.

• And the most important thing is that we have been working for you for a whole year 😀

↑↑ Go to the discord server above and join us! ↑↑

95.216.62.177:25582

Attack On Titan [MODDED] [ROLEPLAY]

actions, Attack, Branches, Dawn of Humanity, Discord, Impact, invite, Join, Lore, Military Police, Minecraft, Missions, Modded, opportunities, Playstyle, progress, responsibilities, Roleplay, Server, Stationary Guard, Survey Corps, TITAN

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Players:	109/800	Votes:	8833
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Mythical Swords Crafted:	45	Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	2
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1	Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2
Runes Activated:	3	Epic Battles Fought:	12
Celestial Gardens Planted:	3	Powerful Allies Recruited:	3
Cursed Statues Activated:	1	Magical Frogs Kissed:	6
Potions Brewed:	143	Star Shards Collected:	296
Evil Twin Fights:	5	Lava Oceans Crossed:	3

Dawn of Humanity Server Overview

Welcome Message	Welcome to Dawn of Humanity, an Attack on Titan server where you can roleplay with other people.
Branches	Survey Corps, Military Police, Stationary Guard
Progression	Participate in missions to impact the lore of the server
Discord	Join our Discord server

FAQ

Question	Answer
How do I join a branch?	Upon joining the server, you will be sorted into one of the four main branches based on your preferences and playstyle.
What do each branch do?	The Survey Corps focuses on exploring and battling titans, the Military Police maintain order within the walls, and the Stationary Guard protect the citizens.
How can I participate in missions?	Keep an eye on announcements in the server and be ready to join missions when they are organized by the admins.
Can I impact the lore of the server?	Absolutely! Your actions during missions and interactions with other players can directly impact the ongoing lore of the server.

SonicCraft – Speedy Adventures 1.20.5

1.20.5, Adventures, dc comics, IDW, pixel world, Sonic booru, Sonic Christmas, Sonic collaboration, Sonic Comic, Sonic cytube, sonic game, Sonic General, sonic mod, Sonic News, Sonic OC, Sonic Pastebin, sonic racing, Sonic Rumble, sonic the hedgehog, sonic the hedgehog 3, Sonic Trailer, soniccraft, Speedy

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Players:	91/200	Votes:	8121
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Astral Orbs Gathered:	9	Forbidden Doors Opened:	3
Legendary Heroes Trained:	4	Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	4
Battle Standards Raised:	8	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	13
Divine Spears Created:	20	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	13
Chaos Orbs Controlled:	24	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	8
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2	Elemental Forces Harnessed:	3
Magic Crystals Found:	22	Lava Oceans Crossed:	2

Hey, you! Yeah, you! Do you love Sonic the Hedgehog? Do you wanna chat about all things Sonic with fellow fans? Join our Minecraft server for some epic Sonic discussions! We’ve got everything from Sonic Racing teasers to DC Comics collaborations. Plus, we’ve got a booru for all your Sonic OC needs! Don’t miss out on the fun – join now and let’s go fast together!