RetireCraft: Age Up Edition | New Minecraft Servers 2024

Block Party Minecraft Server

BLOCK, Calm, Community, community forum, current events, Downtime, election, leisure, local ], local news, Minecraft, off-peak, Party, peace and quiet, Politics, quiet time, Relaxation, seasonal changes, Server, slow board, slow season, Tourists, Tranquility, vacation

Tired of dealing with boring boards and annoying tourists? Join our epic Minecraft server where the only thing boiling over is the lava in the Nether! Our server is so lit, even the Ender Dragon can’t handle the heat. Plus, with all the chaos and craziness going on, you won’t even notice the election drama. So come join us and escape to a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	105/200	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Mystic Runes Engraved:	1	Endless Night Skies:	4
Haunted Chests Opened:	8	Buildings Constructed:	12
Mythical Relics Collected:	18	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	2
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	1	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	3
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	3	Mythical Quests Completed:	35

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

Dancing In The Street Minecraft SMP

Bro, conformity, cultural appropriation, Cultural differences, dancing, dancing in the street, EMBARRASSMENT, Expectations, Failure, fear of failure, lack of confidence, Minecraft, peer pressure, Performance, PRESSURE, public display, qatar, self-consciousness, smp, social anxiety, social norms, stage fright, street

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers where everyone takes themselves too seriously? Look no further, because on our server, we encourage you to dance in the streets from left to right like there’s no tomorrow! Who needs Qatar when you can have all the fun right here?

Join us for epic dance parties, insane building competitions, and quests that will make you question your sanity. Plus, rumor has it that there’s a secret underground disco club where the party never stops. Will you be brave enough to find it?

So why settle for a boring server when you can join us and experience the ultimate Minecraft madness? Come on, bro, show us what you’ve got and let’s dance our way to victory!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	100/100	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	3	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	2
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	19	Hidden Villages Discovered:	3
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Lava Oceans Crossed:	1
Rune Stones Activated:	6	Haunted Chests Opened:	2
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1	Phantom Blocks Placed:	9

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Someone once caught a cosmic hamster, and now it’s the server’s unofficial mascot!

DumpsterDigsGFBlankets

beige aesthetic, boundary crossing, communication breakdown, Conflict Resolution, Dumpster, Dumpster Diving, DumpsterDigsGFBlankets, emotional attachment, family heirlooms, knitted blankets, leaving threat, linen closet, moving past, patterned blankets, professionally cleaned, Screwed Up, sentimental items, smelly trash bag, tense atmosphere, trash bag

Looking for a Minecraft server to escape the dumpster fire that is your relationship? Look no further! Our server is the perfect place to forget about your girlfriend throwing away your precious blankets and making you dig through trash.

Join us for a chance to build your dream world, where no one can throw away your pixelated creations without consequences. Our community is full of players who understand the importance of sentimental items, even if they’re just virtual blocks.

So come on over and let your creativity run wild! Who needs real-life drama when you can have virtual adventures with like-minded players? Let’s leave the dumpster diving to the mobs in the game, shall we?

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	108/700	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Living Shadows Defeated:	3	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	8
Astral Projections Made:	2	Meteorite Armor Created:	24
Mythical Quests Completed:	37	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	14
Reality Distortions Fixed:	3	Inverted Worlds Discovered:	2
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	15	Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	15

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Cozy campfires are rumored to attract wandering gods who just want to share a story.

CraftyKidLies

amusing fibs, bedtime stories, childhood fibs, childhood memories, CraftyKidLies, creative imagination, creative parenting, favourite lie, fibbing, fun stories, imaginative tales, little white lies, make believe, parenting, parenting moments, playful deception, storytelling, storytelling with children, tall tales, told a child, White Lies

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no sense of humor? Well, look no further because our server is the ultimate playground for pranksters and jokesters alike! Join us and unleash your inner troll as you trick unsuspecting players into believing the most outrageous lies ever told!

From convincing players that diamonds grow on trees to claiming that creepers are actually just misunderstood cuddle bugs, the fun never stops on our server. And if you’re feeling extra mischievous, why not try telling a child that Notch himself will personally deliver a stack of enchanted golden apples to their doorstep if they join our server? The possibilities are endless!

So come on down and join us for a wild ride of hilarity and mayhem. Who knows, you might just end up with a new favorite lie to tell the next time a child asks you a question!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	110/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Animals Bred:	75	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	15
Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3	Cuddly Creatures Pet:	45
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	8	Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	2
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	2	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	6
Infinite Doors Opened:	1	Lost Cities Unearthed:	3

Random Fact: Mythical Moment: A single drop of lava from the Phoenix Feather’s nest can forge an indestructible sword.

PixelPVV: Opt-Out Oasis

asylum rules, Controversial Decision, Dutch government, Dutch leadership, Dutch politics, EU, European asylum laws, european union, far-right PVV, government request, Immigration Policy, immigration reform, immigration restrictions, nationalist party, Netherlands, Oasis, opt out, OptOut, PixelPVV, political controversy, populist movement, Refugee Crisis, right-wing politics

haha come join our epic minecraft server where the dutch government is run by far-right PVV and they ask the EU for an opt-out from asylum rules. like, who even does that?? but it makes for some crazy fun times on our server, trust me.

you can build your own asylum center and try to sneak in refugees past the crazy government. or maybe you can join the PVV and try to kick out all the asylum seekers. the possibilities are endless and totally wacky.

plus, we have a secret underground bunker where you can hide from the government and plan your escape. it’s like a whole new world of mischief and mayhem in our server.

so come on, join us and see what kind of madness you can get up to in this wild and unpredictable world. it’s gonna be a blast, i promise.

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	99/800	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	6	Phantom Horses Ridden:	2
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	3	Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	9
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	3	Wilderness Tamed:	19
Cursed Scrolls Read:	1	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	2
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	2	Potions Brewed:	167

Random Fact: Did You Know? A player once found a magical teapot that pours endless hot chocolate—it’s now the most popular spot in town!

Strokelympics: Hot Air Pollution Server

Air, air pollution, cardiovascular disease, chronic conditions, climate change, disease burden, environmental factors, global health, health impacts, healthcare trends, high blood pressure, high temperatures, hot, mortality rates, obesity, Pollution, public health, risk factors, Server, Stroke, stroke awareness, stroke prevention, stroke statistics, Strokelympics

Yo, listen up gamers! If you’re tired of dealing with air pollution, high temperatures, and boring old risk factors like obesity and high blood pressure, then you gotta join our Minecraft server!

We’ve got so much crazy stuff going on that your brain might explode (in a good way, of course). Between 1990 and 2021, the number of people who had a new stroke rose by a whopping 70% on our server. And get this, the number who died from a stroke increased by 44%! That’s some next-level gaming action right there!

So, if you’re looking for a wild ride filled with unexpected twists and turns, join our server now! Who knows, you might even unlock the secret stroke power-up that will make you the ultimate Minecraft champion. Don’t miss out on all the fun – join us today!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	90/700	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Phantom Knights Defeated:	6	Endless Mazes Conquered:	4
Secret Libraries Discovered:	3	Shadow Figures Spotted:	3
Mimic Chests Discovered:	1	Arcane Towers Raised:	3
Vanishing Structures Built:	5	Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	3
Mystical Amulets Crafted:	16	New Chunks Explored:	177571

Random Fact: Lovely Truth: Someone discovered a tree that grows candy—it’s now a favorite hangout for adventurers with a sweet tooth.

JensenCraft

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, Minecraft Gaming Multiplayer Sandbox Adventure Survival Building Exploration PvP Modded Creative Minigames Redstone Fantasy RPG Pixel art Server Community Online Crafting, PvP, Survival

My journey with Minecraft spans many years, and this game has always held a special place in my heart. I’ve returned to it time and again, each time making new and cherished memories. Inspired by my experiences, I’ve created this server with the hope of fostering the same sense of joy and connection for others. My deepest wish is for this space to be a place where we can all create wonderful memories together, just as I have.

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	106/600	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Star Shards Collected:	269	Necronomicon Pages Collected:	3
Undead Armies Raised:	5	Royal Courts Attended:	3
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	1
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	8	Spectral Entities Defeated:	4
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2	Rune Stones Activated:	7

Random Fact: Fun Fact: A dragon egg once hatched into a tiny kitten with wings—it now rules the skies (and laps) of the server.

Story Ruiner Minecraft Server

author woes, Character development, completely ruins, completely ruins your story, creative writing, literary disaster, Minecraft, narrative failure, plot derailment, plot twist, ruined characters, ruined climax, ruined endings, ruined plot twists, ruined resolution, ruined storytelling, RUINER, Server, Story, story destruction, storytelling, unexpected turn, writing mistakes, your story

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where you just mine and build all day? Well, do we have the server for you! Our server is home to a community of hilarious players who love to prank each other and have a good time.

Join us for epic battles where the winner gets a real-life diamond sword delivered to their doorstep! We also have a secret underground disco party that only the coolest players know about.

But be warned, our server is also home to a mischievous group of ninja chickens who will steal your diamonds when you least expect it. So watch your back and join our server for a wild and wacky adventure like no other!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	94/100	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	16	Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	4
Cursed Villages Purged:	1	Underground Cities Explored:	1
Immortal Anvils Forged:	13	Divine Scrolls Written:	17
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	7	Epic Quests Completed:	10
Soul Swords Wielded:	5	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	5

Random Fact: Magical Trivia: One player managed to defeat an epic boss with nothing but enchanted breadsticks—no joke!

Crab Rave Minecraft SMP

Challenges, coping mechanisms, crab, Despair, determination, doom mongering, Endurance, Frustration, hopelessness, mental health, Minecraft, Moaning, monotony, Negativity, patience, perseverance, pissing, rave, Repetition, resilience, self-care, setbacks, smp, spastics

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where for the past 6 months all we’ve had to eat is crab! That’s right, no steak, no pork chops, just crab legs for days. But don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of butter to go around!

Despite the constant complaints and doomsday predictions from our players, we’ve managed to thrive on nothing but crab. Our secret? We’ve all become experts at crab fishing and cooking. Who needs a balanced diet when you’ve got a never-ending supply of delicious crustaceans?

Join us if you’re ready to embrace the crab life and become a true crustacean connoisseur. Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover the legendary giant crab boss lurking in the depths of our ocean biome. Just watch out for its pincer attacks!

So come on, join our SMP and see if you have what it takes to survive on nothing but crab. Who needs steak when you’ve got a shellfish sensation waiting for you? Let’s get crackin’!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	91/400	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Omnipotent Charms Created:	3	Cursed Statues Activated:	1
Werewolf Howls Heard:	2	Ancient Dragons Awakened:	2
Lost Cities Unearthed:	2	Meteorites Collected:	3
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2	Shadow Realms Conquered:	2
Buildings Constructed:	26	Phantom Rings Equipped:	12

Random Fact: Wild Fact: Every time a mimic chest is discovered, it doubles the amount of loot in the next treasure found.

SurgiCraft: The Ultimate Makeover

10. Fantasy medical procedure, 11. Unavailable surgery, 12. Fantasy healthcare, 13. Make-believe medical treatment, 14. Desired medical procedure, 15. Fictional medical intervention, 16. Imaginary healthcare, 17. Wishful medical surgery, 18. Dream medical procedure, 19. Hypothetical medical treatment, 2. Imaginary surgery, 20. Nonexistent healthcare., 3. Fantasy surgery, 4. Wishful surgery, 5. Dream surgery, 6. Nonexistent surgery, 7. Desired surgery, 8. Make-believe surgery, 9. Hypothetical surgery, Fictional surgery, makeover, SurgiCraft, Ultimate

Have you ever wished for a surgery that could give you the ability to mine diamonds with your bare hands in Minecraft? Well, on our server, we offer the exclusive “Diamond Extraction Surgery” where our skilled virtual surgeons implant diamond-tipped fingers into your avatar, allowing you to effortlessly gather precious gems in the game!

But that’s not all! Join our server and you’ll also have the chance to undergo the “Creeper Repellent Surgery”, where we implant a special device in your character that emits a scent so repulsive to creepers that they’ll run away in fear whenever you approach. No more unexpected explosions ruining your builds!

And if you’re feeling extra adventurous, try out our “Ender Dragon Taming Surgery” where we give you the ability to ride and control the fearsome Ender Dragon, turning it into your loyal steed as you soar through the skies of the Minecraft world.

So why wait? Join our server now and experience these outrageous surgeries for yourself! You’ll never look at Minecraft the same way again!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	98/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	15	Cozy Campfires Lit:	6
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	38	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	4
Omnipotent Charms Created:	5	Eternal Flames Captured:	7
Immortal Potions Brewed:	8	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	1
Dragons Tamed:	7	Heroic Legacies Created:	2

Random Fact: Rumor has it that every enchanted tome written is secretly overseen by an invisible librarian.

CraftyCreeperWars

ammunition, arms deal, arms trade, Conflict, CraftyCreeperWars, Defense, Diplomacy, foreign affairs, Geopolitics, global affairs, India, international conflict, international relations, military equipment, Military Supplies, national security, political tensions, russia, Ukraine, War, weapons

yo yo yo come join our epic minecraft server where the ammunition from india enters ukraine and raises russian ire! why is this happening in minecraft you ask? well let me tell you a crazy story.

so basically, our server is set in a parallel universe where india and ukraine are at war over who has the best curry recipe. and the russians are just chilling, getting mad because they want some curry too.

but don’t worry, you can join the fun and help either side by building epic curry restaurants or crafting insane weapons to defend your favorite spice.

so come on down and join the chaos, because on this server, anything can happen! plus, we have flying pigs and dancing llamas. what more could you ask for?

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	99/200	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	3	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	2
Legendary Titles Earned:	2	Witch’s Brew Drunk:	5
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	1	Divine Spears Created:	23
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	1	Wyrmholes Dug:	4
Forbidden Tomes Read:	5	Haunted Chests Opened:	3

Random Fact: Lovely Lore: A friendship bracelet once turned into a glowing beacon—now it lights the way for adventurers at night.

Berry Tea Wine Server

antioxidants, berries, berry, brain aging, brain health, cognitive decline, cognitive function, cognitive health, dementia risk, flavonoids, health benefits, healthy diet, Longevity, Memory Loss, natural remedies, neuroprotection, nutrition, Prevention, Red wine, Server, study, tea, wine

join dis minecraft server if u want to keep ur brain cells alive, bro. we got so many berries, tea, and red wine that u will never forget where u put ur diamond pickaxe. eat 6 servings of flavonoid-rich foods per day and u will be 28% less likely to forget where u built ur epic castle. trust me, u don’t want to end up like Steve who forgot where he left his bed and ended up sleeping in a creeper’s cave. so come join us and keep ur brain cells safe while u mine and craft ur way to victory!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	90/700	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	5	Royal Courts Attended:	5
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	30	Heroic Legacies Created:	6
Divine Relics Bestowed:	8	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	0
Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	4	Backwards Speech Heard:	2
Astral Projections Made:	0	Volcanoes Explored:	3

Random Fact: Did You Know? A player once found a magical teapot that pours endless hot chocolate—it’s now the most popular spot in town!

Wife’s 50, I’m 30 Minecraft Server

30s, 50s, age difference, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Dying, future plans, Help, Infidelity, Intimacy, Jealousy, Marriage, Minecraft, monogamy, open relationship, Polyamory, Replacement, Server, taboo, Trust, Wife, Wifes

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the age doesn’t matter and neither do the rules!

Join us for a wild ride where you can build your own harem of blocky babes, just like this player’s wife promised to do for him! Who needs diamonds when you have a lineup of potential replacements ready to go?

Explore our server and see if you can find your own sugar mommy or daddy who’s willing to let you explore your wildest fantasies. The possibilities are endless, just like the drama that unfolds when you mix love, lust, and Minecraft together.

So come on in and see if you can find your next Minecraft soulmate, or at least someone who’s down for a little blocky fun on the side. Who knows, you might just find yourself in a love triangle that’s more twisted than a creeper explosion!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	108/100	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Epic Battles Fought:	11	Lava Oceans Crossed:	3
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	3	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	19
Dragon Hoards Looted:	3	Rainbows Spotted:	9
Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	2	Magic Items Found:	1383
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	5	Love Letters Sent:	16

Random Fact: Adorable Fact: Someone discovered a magical beanstalk that grows lollipops—it’s become the server’s favorite snack source.

Neon Green Minecraft SMP

Frustration, gardening, green leaves, Green.., greenery, houseplants, indoor plants, leaf discoloration, Minecraft, neo, Neon, plant advice, Plant care, plant care tips, plant diagnosis, plant health, plant help, plant issues, plant maintenance, plant problems, plant support, smp, Troubleshooting

Welcome to our wild and wacky Minecraft SMP where the grass is greener than your grandma’s lawn! Seriously, we have no idea why your neo is so green, but we do know that joining our server will make your Minecraft experience 10 times more colorful and chaotic.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our SMP and found themselves in a battle against a horde of zombie chickens armed with diamond swords. It was a clucking good time, let me tell you.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Enderman who moonlights as a stand-up comedian. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard an Enderman tell knock-knock jokes.

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft SMP that’s as crazy as a creeper on caffeine, then look no further. Join us and prepare for a rollercoaster ride of laughter, adventure, and maybe even a little bit of chaos. Just don’t forget to bring your sense of humor and a stack of diamond armor – you’re gonna need it!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	94/1000	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Ghost Miner’s Tools Found:	6	Divine Spears Created:	22
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	38	Unicorn Sightings:	0
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2	Vanishing Items Found:	5
Hidden Passages Discovered:	5	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	9
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	50	Dragon Scales Harvested:	303

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.

PupCraftPlaydate

Babysitting, compromise, Date night, dog behavior, dog fear, Dog lover, dog-friendly, dog-friendly house, family, family drama, family time, free babysitting, golden retriever, pet accommodations, pet guilt, pet owner, pet parent, pet-friendly, PupCraftPlaydate, sibling rivalry, well-behaved dog

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where dogs are always welcome! We understand the importance of furry companions, which is why we encourage all players to bring their beloved pets along for the adventure.

Join us and experience a world where golden retrievers like Charlie roam freely, spreading love and joy to all who encounter them. Watch as your doggo makes friends with other players’ pets, forming alliances and embarking on epic quests together.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your dog can’t come along for the ride. After all, who wouldn’t want a loyal companion by their side as they conquer dungeons and build magnificent structures?

So come on over to our server and let your doggo join in on the fun. Who knows, maybe Charlie will become a legendary hero in the world of Minecraft, known far and wide for his good behavior and irresistible charm. Join now and let the adventure begin!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	107/200	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	4	Mineshafts Explored:	4
Lost Cities Unearthed:	5	Gods Slained:	1
Potions Brewed:	183	Phantom Rings Equipped:	19
God-Killer Bows Constructed:	2	Eclipse Rings Activated:	2
God-Tier Weapons Forged:	48	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2

Random Fact: Whimsical Lore: A player once befriended a cloud that now follows them around, raining only when they need a cool down.

Players:	96/500	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Immortal Potions Brewed:	7	Epic Quests Completed:	5
Ancient Relics Unearthed:	290	Meteorites Collected:	4
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Wailing Winds Heard:	4
Invisible Walls Found:	2	Dark Rituals Completed:	6
Phoenix Feathers Found:	8	Magic Wands Crafted:	19