PerformanceCriticsMinecraftSMP | New Minecraft Servers 2024

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where the game runs smoother than a baby’s bottom and the only coordinated attempts are to build the most epic creations possible! Don’t listen to those fake reviewers spreading lies about performance issues, they’re just jealous of our flawless server.

Join us for a wild ride filled with insane adventures, like the time we tamed a herd of wild llamas and rode them into battle against a horde of creepers. Or the time we built a giant roller coaster that launched players into the sky and straight into the jaws of a hungry Ender Dragon.

So if you’re tired of boring, glitchy servers and want to experience the true essence of Minecraft madness, come join us and become part of our wacky family. Just be prepared for anything, because on our server, the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a few exploding TNT traps).

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	105/300	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	1	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Infinity Stones Found:	4	Wishing Wells Wished Upon:	14
Magic Wands Crafted:	21	Astral Projections Made:	3
Divine Spears Created:	23	Shadow Figures Spotted:	9
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	4	Lunar Scepters Activated:	7

Random Fact: Did you know? When the last shadow realm was conquered, the conquering player gained the ability to speak in rhymes.

Block Party Minecraft Server

BLOCK, Calm, Community, community forum, current events, Downtime, election, leisure, local ], local news, Minecraft, off-peak, Party, peace and quiet, Politics, quiet time, Relaxation, seasonal changes, Server, slow board, slow season, Tourists, Tranquility, vacation

Tired of dealing with boring boards and annoying tourists? Join our epic Minecraft server where the only thing boiling over is the lava in the Nether! Our server is so lit, even the Ender Dragon can’t handle the heat. Plus, with all the chaos and craziness going on, you won’t even notice the election drama. So come join us and escape to a world where the only thing you have to worry about is creepers blowing up your house!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	94/400	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	9	Unicorn Sightings:	0
Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	176	Rune Stones Activated:	9
Fabled Crowns Discovered:	5	Magic Scrolls Discovered:	5
Soul Contracts Signed:	4	Divine Relics Bestowed:	9
Arcane Towers Raised:	2	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2

Random Fact: Cute But True: Someone built a house out of enchanted gingerbread—it’s sturdy, sweet, and smells like Christmas all year round.

Dancing In The Street Minecraft SMP

Bro, conformity, cultural appropriation, Cultural differences, dancing, dancing in the street, EMBARRASSMENT, Expectations, Failure, fear of failure, lack of confidence, Minecraft, peer pressure, Performance, PRESSURE, public display, qatar, self-consciousness, smp, social anxiety, social norms, stage fright, street

Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers where everyone takes themselves too seriously? Look no further, because on our server, we encourage you to dance in the streets from left to right like there’s no tomorrow! Who needs Qatar when you can have all the fun right here?

Join us for epic dance parties, insane building competitions, and quests that will make you question your sanity. Plus, rumor has it that there’s a secret underground disco club where the party never stops. Will you be brave enough to find it?

So why settle for a boring server when you can join us and experience the ultimate Minecraft madness? Come on, bro, show us what you’ve got and let’s dance our way to victory!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	103/800	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	1	Vanishing Structures Built:	3
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	0	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	7
Twisted Realms Survived:	3	Sunfire Helmets Forged:	7
Elemental Forces Harnessed:	10	Epic Battles Fought:	12
Rune Stones Activated:	4	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2

Random Fact: Magical Fact: A player once brewed a potion that turned their pet into a talking companion—it always knows just what to say.

DumpsterDigsGFBlankets

beige aesthetic, boundary crossing, communication breakdown, Conflict Resolution, Dumpster, Dumpster Diving, DumpsterDigsGFBlankets, emotional attachment, family heirlooms, knitted blankets, leaving threat, linen closet, moving past, patterned blankets, professionally cleaned, Screwed Up, sentimental items, smelly trash bag, tense atmosphere, trash bag

Looking for a Minecraft server to escape the dumpster fire that is your relationship? Look no further! Our server is the perfect place to forget about your girlfriend throwing away your precious blankets and making you dig through trash.

Join us for a chance to build your dream world, where no one can throw away your pixelated creations without consequences. Our community is full of players who understand the importance of sentimental items, even if they’re just virtual blocks.

So come on over and let your creativity run wild! Who needs real-life drama when you can have virtual adventures with like-minded players? Let’s leave the dumpster diving to the mobs in the game, shall we?

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	98/300	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Whispering Caves Entered:	3	Werewolf Howls Heard:	2
Players Killed by Monsters:	1903	Epic Bosses Defeated:	5
Hedge Mazes Navigated:	5	Forbidden Doors Opened:	1
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	44	Mystic Runes Engraved:	5
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Celestial Events Witnessed:	3

Random Fact: Did you know? The most recent world-altering spell accidentally turned a mountain into a giant chocolate cake.

CraftyKidLies

amusing fibs, bedtime stories, childhood fibs, childhood memories, CraftyKidLies, creative imagination, creative parenting, favourite lie, fibbing, fun stories, imaginative tales, little white lies, make believe, parenting, parenting moments, playful deception, storytelling, storytelling with children, tall tales, told a child, White Lies

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no sense of humor? Well, look no further because our server is the ultimate playground for pranksters and jokesters alike! Join us and unleash your inner troll as you trick unsuspecting players into believing the most outrageous lies ever told!

From convincing players that diamonds grow on trees to claiming that creepers are actually just misunderstood cuddle bugs, the fun never stops on our server. And if you’re feeling extra mischievous, why not try telling a child that Notch himself will personally deliver a stack of enchanted golden apples to their doorstep if they join our server? The possibilities are endless!

So come on down and join us for a wild ride of hilarity and mayhem. Who knows, you might just end up with a new favorite lie to tell the next time a child asks you a question!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	105/100	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Ancient Guardians Awoken:	3	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	5
Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	6	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	125
New Chunks Explored:	479926	Shadow Realms Conquered:	0
Lost Souls Rescued:	1	Star Shards Collected:	153
Meteorites Collected:	0	Endless Mazes Solved:	2

Random Fact: Crazy But True: Someone once caught a cosmic hamster, and now it’s the server’s unofficial mascot!

PixelPVV: Opt-Out Oasis

asylum rules, Controversial Decision, Dutch government, Dutch leadership, Dutch politics, EU, European asylum laws, european union, far-right PVV, government request, Immigration Policy, immigration reform, immigration restrictions, nationalist party, Netherlands, Oasis, opt out, OptOut, PixelPVV, political controversy, populist movement, Refugee Crisis, right-wing politics

haha come join our epic minecraft server where the dutch government is run by far-right PVV and they ask the EU for an opt-out from asylum rules. like, who even does that?? but it makes for some crazy fun times on our server, trust me.

you can build your own asylum center and try to sneak in refugees past the crazy government. or maybe you can join the PVV and try to kick out all the asylum seekers. the possibilities are endless and totally wacky.

plus, we have a secret underground bunker where you can hide from the government and plan your escape. it’s like a whole new world of mischief and mayhem in our server.

so come on, join us and see what kind of madness you can get up to in this wild and unpredictable world. it’s gonna be a blast, i promise.

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	106/900	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Immortal Potions Brewed:	6	Chaos Gates Opened:	2
Hidden Passages Discovered:	3	Shadow Realms Conquered:	0
Underground Cities Explored:	2	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	20
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	4	Epic Battles Fought:	20
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	1	Phoenix Feathers Found:	5

Random Fact: Sweet Truth: A player found a hidden passage that leads to a secret garden—it’s full of flowers that bloom in rainbow colors.

Strokelympics: Hot Air Pollution Server

Air, air pollution, cardiovascular disease, chronic conditions, climate change, disease burden, environmental factors, global health, health impacts, healthcare trends, high blood pressure, high temperatures, hot, mortality rates, obesity, Pollution, public health, risk factors, Server, Stroke, stroke awareness, stroke prevention, stroke statistics, Strokelympics

Yo, listen up gamers! If you’re tired of dealing with air pollution, high temperatures, and boring old risk factors like obesity and high blood pressure, then you gotta join our Minecraft server!

We’ve got so much crazy stuff going on that your brain might explode (in a good way, of course). Between 1990 and 2021, the number of people who had a new stroke rose by a whopping 70% on our server. And get this, the number who died from a stroke increased by 44%! That’s some next-level gaming action right there!

So, if you’re looking for a wild ride filled with unexpected twists and turns, join our server now! Who knows, you might even unlock the secret stroke power-up that will make you the ultimate Minecraft champion. Don’t miss out on all the fun – join us today!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	105/400	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	1	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	10
Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	1	Demon Skulls Collected:	33
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	0	Dragons Adopted as Pets:	3
Dungeon Sieges Launched:	6	Enchanted Tomes Discovered:	132
Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	59	Endless Mazes Conquered:	2

Random Fact: Adorable Fact: Someone discovered a magical beanstalk that grows lollipops—it’s become the server’s favorite snack source.

JensenCraft

Cross-Play, Economy, MCMMO, Minecraft Gaming Multiplayer Sandbox Adventure Survival Building Exploration PvP Modded Creative Minigames Redstone Fantasy RPG Pixel art Server Community Online Crafting, PvP, Survival

My journey with Minecraft spans many years, and this game has always held a special place in my heart. I’ve returned to it time and again, each time making new and cherished memories. Inspired by my experiences, I’ve created this server with the hope of fostering the same sense of joy and connection for others. My deepest wish is for this space to be a place where we can all create wonderful memories together, just as I have.

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	95/300	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Love Letters Sent:	2	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	13
Animals Bred:	48	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	3
Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	2	Cozy Campfires Lit:	23
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	12	Chaos Gates Opened:	0
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	3	Cosmic Hamsters Found:	5

Random Fact: Did you know? The last phantom ship sighted was carrying a cargo of glow-in-the-dark kittens.

Story Ruiner Minecraft Server

author woes, Character development, completely ruins, completely ruins your story, creative writing, literary disaster, Minecraft, narrative failure, plot derailment, plot twist, ruined characters, ruined climax, ruined endings, ruined plot twists, ruined resolution, ruined storytelling, RUINER, Server, Story, story destruction, storytelling, unexpected turn, writing mistakes, your story

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where you just mine and build all day? Well, do we have the server for you! Our server is home to a community of hilarious players who love to prank each other and have a good time.

Join us for epic battles where the winner gets a real-life diamond sword delivered to their doorstep! We also have a secret underground disco party that only the coolest players know about.

But be warned, our server is also home to a mischievous group of ninja chickens who will steal your diamonds when you least expect it. So watch your back and join our server for a wild and wacky adventure like no other!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	90/900	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Titanic Battles Fought:	26	Players Killed by Monsters:	1002
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	11	Invisible Pathways Walked:	8
Fairy Circles Danced In:	12	Animals Bred:	176
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	5	Twisted Realms Survived:	3
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	12	Cursed Biomes Uncovered:	7

Random Fact: Surprising But True: The last rainstorm ended with a double rainbow and a pot of gold—it’s now a community treasure.

Crab Rave Minecraft SMP

Challenges, coping mechanisms, crab, Despair, determination, doom mongering, Endurance, Frustration, hopelessness, mental health, Minecraft, Moaning, monotony, Negativity, patience, perseverance, pissing, rave, Repetition, resilience, self-care, setbacks, smp, spastics

Welcome to our Minecraft SMP, where for the past 6 months all we’ve had to eat is crab! That’s right, no steak, no pork chops, just crab legs for days. But don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of butter to go around!

Despite the constant complaints and doomsday predictions from our players, we’ve managed to thrive on nothing but crab. Our secret? We’ve all become experts at crab fishing and cooking. Who needs a balanced diet when you’ve got a never-ending supply of delicious crustaceans?

Join us if you’re ready to embrace the crab life and become a true crustacean connoisseur. Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover the legendary giant crab boss lurking in the depths of our ocean biome. Just watch out for its pincer attacks!

So come on, join our SMP and see if you have what it takes to survive on nothing but crab. Who needs steak when you’ve got a shellfish sensation waiting for you? Let’s get crackin’!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	101/1000	Uptime:	99%
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Pirate Ships Raided:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Emeralds Found:	1533	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	24
Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	3	Magical Frogs Kissed:	3
Phantom Knights Defeated:	8	Secret Guilds Joined:	2
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	2	Teleportation Mishaps:	4

Random Fact: Adorable Truth: A kitten was found napping inside an enchanted book—it now helps with all reading-related quests.

SurgiCraft: The Ultimate Makeover

10. Fantasy medical procedure, 11. Unavailable surgery, 12. Fantasy healthcare, 13. Make-believe medical treatment, 14. Desired medical procedure, 15. Fictional medical intervention, 16. Imaginary healthcare, 17. Wishful medical surgery, 18. Dream medical procedure, 19. Hypothetical medical treatment, 2. Imaginary surgery, 20. Nonexistent healthcare., 3. Fantasy surgery, 4. Wishful surgery, 5. Dream surgery, 6. Nonexistent surgery, 7. Desired surgery, 8. Make-believe surgery, 9. Hypothetical surgery, Fictional surgery, makeover, SurgiCraft, Ultimate

Have you ever wished for a surgery that could give you the ability to mine diamonds with your bare hands in Minecraft? Well, on our server, we offer the exclusive “Diamond Extraction Surgery” where our skilled virtual surgeons implant diamond-tipped fingers into your avatar, allowing you to effortlessly gather precious gems in the game!

But that’s not all! Join our server and you’ll also have the chance to undergo the “Creeper Repellent Surgery”, where we implant a special device in your character that emits a scent so repulsive to creepers that they’ll run away in fear whenever you approach. No more unexpected explosions ruining your builds!

And if you’re feeling extra adventurous, try out our “Ender Dragon Taming Surgery” where we give you the ability to ride and control the fearsome Ender Dragon, turning it into your loyal steed as you soar through the skies of the Minecraft world.

So why wait? Join our server now and experience these outrageous surgeries for yourself! You’ll never look at Minecraft the same way again!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	92/800	Uptime:	97%
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Mysterious Portals Opened:	19	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	2
Cursed Lands Purified:	3	Undead Armies Raised:	0
Crystal Wands Charged:	19	Astral Amulets Crafted:	36
Dimension Hops:	1	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	3
Gnome Villages Protected:	10	Powerful Allies Recruited:	5

Random Fact: Legendary Lore: Every time an ancient relic is unearthed, a lost city somewhere trembles in fear.

CraftyCreeperWars

ammunition, arms deal, arms trade, Conflict, CraftyCreeperWars, Defense, Diplomacy, foreign affairs, Geopolitics, global affairs, India, international conflict, international relations, military equipment, Military Supplies, national security, political tensions, russia, Ukraine, War, weapons

yo yo yo come join our epic minecraft server where the ammunition from india enters ukraine and raises russian ire! why is this happening in minecraft you ask? well let me tell you a crazy story.

so basically, our server is set in a parallel universe where india and ukraine are at war over who has the best curry recipe. and the russians are just chilling, getting mad because they want some curry too.

but don’t worry, you can join the fun and help either side by building epic curry restaurants or crafting insane weapons to defend your favorite spice.

so come on down and join the chaos, because on this server, anything can happen! plus, we have flying pigs and dancing llamas. what more could you ask for?

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	100/600	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Cursed Villages Purged:	2	Endless Mazes Solved:	2
Volcanoes Explored:	3	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	2
Spectral Entities Defeated:	2	Holy Grails Found:	4
Unbreakable Chains Forged:	5	Titan Hearts Harvested:	4
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	3	Backwards Speech Heard:	6

Random Fact: Fun Fact: Drinking witch’s brew in the middle of a storm can sometimes summon a giant frog—totally unplanned!

Berry Tea Wine Server

antioxidants, berries, berry, brain aging, brain health, cognitive decline, cognitive function, cognitive health, dementia risk, flavonoids, health benefits, healthy diet, Longevity, Memory Loss, natural remedies, neuroprotection, nutrition, Prevention, Red wine, Server, study, tea, wine

join dis minecraft server if u want to keep ur brain cells alive, bro. we got so many berries, tea, and red wine that u will never forget where u put ur diamond pickaxe. eat 6 servings of flavonoid-rich foods per day and u will be 28% less likely to forget where u built ur epic castle. trust me, u don’t want to end up like Steve who forgot where he left his bed and ended up sleeping in a creeper’s cave. so come join us and keep ur brain cells safe while u mine and craft ur way to victory!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	94/700	Uptime:	100%
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Cursed Villages Purged:	2	Unbreakable Chains Forged:	6
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	5	Hedge Mazes Navigated:	3
Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	6	Titanic Battles Fought:	18
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	27	Magical Moments Shared:	22
Time-Warping Watches Found:	3	Legendary Items Repaired:	6

Random Fact: Trivia: The last enchanted forest planted was accidentally grown upside down, yet it thrived—go figure!

Wife’s 50, I’m 30 Minecraft Server

30s, 50s, age difference, Boundaries, Cheating, Communication, Dying, future plans, Help, Infidelity, Intimacy, Jealousy, Marriage, Minecraft, monogamy, open relationship, Polyamory, Replacement, Server, taboo, Trust, Wife, Wifes

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the age doesn’t matter and neither do the rules!

Join us for a wild ride where you can build your own harem of blocky babes, just like this player’s wife promised to do for him! Who needs diamonds when you have a lineup of potential replacements ready to go?

Explore our server and see if you can find your own sugar mommy or daddy who’s willing to let you explore your wildest fantasies. The possibilities are endless, just like the drama that unfolds when you mix love, lust, and Minecraft together.

So come on in and see if you can find your next Minecraft soulmate, or at least someone who’s down for a little blocky fun on the side. Who knows, you might just find yourself in a love triangle that’s more twisted than a creeper explosion!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	90/900	Uptime:	98%
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Blood-Forged Axes Created:	18	Farms Harvested:	478
Horror Stories Survived:	2	Talking Trees Consulted:	2
Ancient Dragons Awakened:	2	Mysterious Portals Opened:	7
Soul Contracts Signed:	2	Zombie Dances:	4
Haunted Mines Explored:	2	Cursed Taverns Survived:	2

Random Fact: Adorable Fact: Someone discovered a magical beanstalk that grows lollipops—it’s become the server’s favorite snack source.

Neon Green Minecraft SMP

Frustration, gardening, green leaves, Green.., greenery, houseplants, indoor plants, leaf discoloration, Minecraft, neo, Neon, plant advice, Plant care, plant care tips, plant diagnosis, plant health, plant help, plant issues, plant maintenance, plant problems, plant support, smp, Troubleshooting

Welcome to our wild and wacky Minecraft SMP where the grass is greener than your grandma’s lawn! Seriously, we have no idea why your neo is so green, but we do know that joining our server will make your Minecraft experience 10 times more colorful and chaotic.

Why should you join our server, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, a player joined our SMP and found themselves in a battle against a horde of zombie chickens armed with diamond swords. It was a clucking good time, let me tell you.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Enderman who moonlights as a stand-up comedian. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard an Enderman tell knock-knock jokes.

So, if you’re looking for a Minecraft SMP that’s as crazy as a creeper on caffeine, then look no further. Join us and prepare for a rollercoaster ride of laughter, adventure, and maybe even a little bit of chaos. Just don’t forget to bring your sense of humor and a stack of diamond armor – you’re gonna need it!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	97/500	Uptime:	95%
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Shadow Realms Conquered:	1	Dragon Eggs Hatched:	1
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	2	God-Killer Bows Constructed:	7
Mystic Runes Engraved:	7	Shadow Figures Spotted:	1
Alien Abductions:	3	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	2
Chaos Gates Opened:	2	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	48

Random Fact: Sweet But True: A player found a cuddly creature that hugs them every morning—it’s the best way to start the day.

PupCraftPlaydate

Babysitting, compromise, Date night, dog behavior, dog fear, Dog lover, dog-friendly, dog-friendly house, family, family drama, family time, free babysitting, golden retriever, pet accommodations, pet guilt, pet owner, pet parent, pet-friendly, PupCraftPlaydate, sibling rivalry, well-behaved dog

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where dogs are always welcome! We understand the importance of furry companions, which is why we encourage all players to bring their beloved pets along for the adventure.

Join us and experience a world where golden retrievers like Charlie roam freely, spreading love and joy to all who encounter them. Watch as your doggo makes friends with other players’ pets, forming alliances and embarking on epic quests together.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your dog can’t come along for the ride. After all, who wouldn’t want a loyal companion by their side as they conquer dungeons and build magnificent structures?

So come on over to our server and let your doggo join in on the fun. Who knows, maybe Charlie will become a legendary hero in the world of Minecraft, known far and wide for his good behavior and irresistible charm. Join now and let the adventure begin!

Updated September 19, 2024

Players:	99/500	Uptime:	96%
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Herobrine Sightings:	1	Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	3
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2	Mythical Quests Completed:	20
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	28	Cursed Taverns Survived:	4
Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	1	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2
Endless Legions Commanded:	10	Reality Warps Survived:	0

Random Fact: Mystic Knowledge: The more celestial gardens you plant, the more likely you are to meet a wandering spirit.